Saturday, August 27, 2005
The 100 Absolutely Unbreakable Law of Business Success
The 100 Absolutely Unbreakable Law of Business Success
© 2000 by Brian Tracey
I set off on a lifelong journey to find out why the world works the way it does. I began to notice consistent and predictable patterns and principles that seem to accompany all business success. Anyone one of these laws can save you months or even years of hard work. Brian Tracey speaks to 300,000 people each year worldwide and he has traveled to eighty countries on five continents.
This is a wonderful time to be alive. The wonderful thing about information and ideas is that they are infinitely divisible. Knowledge is accumulative. Business warfare is aimed at winning customers and markets. Small differences in ability can lead to enormous difference in result. When you organize your life and business activities around the unbreakable laws of business success you are virtually guaranteed to enjoy success and prosperity in your business activities. The first 10% of time that you invest in finding out the underlined laws principles, rules message and techniques of successful action in any field will save you 90% of the time and effort required to achieve your goals in that area.
The smartest people are those who take the time to find out the rules of success in any area before they attempt to get results in that area. Over the years I read hundreds of additional books and articles in my search for the so called secrets of success. When I was given an opportunity to build the sales forces I asked experts, read books, listened to audio programs and attended courses on the recruiting and building sales organizations. I found that all the successful, happy, dynamic, prosperous and growing enterprises practice these principles consistently and virtually everything they do.
When you align your activities with these universal principles you will find yourself getting more and better results with less effort. You will be more relaxed and confident. You will be more optimistic and cheerful. You will be more efficient and effective. One final point before we begin.
The most common quality of successful people is they are intensely action oriented. They are pro-active rather than re-active. They take initiative. When they hear a good idea they act on it immediately by taking action quickly they immediately get feedback that enables them to self correct and move ahead. Why do so many people live lives of quite desperation? Everything happens for a reason. When you are absolutely clear about what you want you only need to copy others who have achieved it before you and you will eventually get the same results that they have. Whatsoever a man sows also shall he reap, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Thoughts are causes and conditions are effects. Your thoughts are the primary creative forces in your life.
You create your entire world by the way you think and when you change your thinking you change your life sometime in seconds. You become what you think about most of the time. It is not the world outside you that dictates your circumstances or conditions it is the world inside you that creates the conditions of your life. It is the way you interpret the events to yourself that determines how you react. Whatever you truly believe with feeling becomes your reality. For you to progress to move onward and upward in your life and business you must continually challenge yourself, limiting beliefs. Free your mind from doubt and fear. Imagine you have no limitations. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail.
Whatever you expect with confidence becomes your own self recurring prophecy. In your own personal life your expectations of your staff, your boss, your customers and even your future tense come through. Expect the best. Start at home and tell your spouse and children on a regular basis that you believe in them. That you think they are wonderful, that you love them and that you are proud of them. In a positive expectation family, the parents continually fed their children extremely positive messages referring how much they love them and believe in them. No matter what happens in the short term the children always knew that their parents were behind them 100% and they didn’t disappoint their parents.
You are a living magnet. You invariably attract into your life the people, situations and circumstances that are in harmony with your dominant thought. You can change your life because you can change the way you think. Birds of the feather flock together, light attracts light. What ever you want wants you. This is why you can think about a person sometime at a great distance and in the next moment the phone will ring up and that person would be on the line. When ever things are not going well in any organization the fastest way to bring about change is to bring in a new person who changes the way people think and feel about themselves and what they are doing. Engage in a rigorous process of self analysis. Take full credit for all the good things in your life. Then look around at the things you don’t like and take full responsibility for them as well.
Your outer world is the reflection of your inner world that corresponds with your dominant patterns of thinking. Your relationships always reflect back to you the kind of person you are on the inside. That is hard for most people to accept. Most people think that the problems in their lives are caused by other people and external circumstances. They want others to change. They want the world to change but they do not want to change themselves.
You can control only one thing in the world and that is the way you think. However, when you take complete control over your thinking you take control over all the other aspects of your life. The basic principle of human action is that everything you do is aimed at improving your life in some way. Once you are programmed to target or desire into your sub conscious mind your super conscious and your super conscious mind takes on a power of their own that seems to both drive and steer you inevitably towards the attainment of your goal whatever it is. Goal achieving seems to happen almost automatically.
Become perfectly clear about what is it you want and exactly what it will look like when you have achieved it. Less than 3% of adults have clear written goals and do it yourself plans to achieve that. These 3% goal setters are earning on average 10 times as much as those people with no written goals at all.
When you write down your goals you immediately become a different person. The very active lines of description of what you want to accomplish and what you intend to do to accomplish it will change your life. The probability of your accomplishing them increases ten times by putting it in writing. Make a list of ten goals that you want to achieve over the next twelve months. Write out these goals and present them as though a year has past and you have already achieved them. When you re-read the list after one year you will find that eight of your ten goals have been achieved. Often your goals won’t materialize much faster. You feel good about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are in control of your own life. People with an internal locus of control, those who feel that they are behind the wheels of their own lives tend to be low stress high performance personalities. People with an external locus of control those who feel that what they are doing is dictated by other people and pressures tend to be high stressed low performance personalities. A sense of control is absolutely essential for you to perform at your best. Change is inevitable. Goals allow you to control the direction of change. Control change leaves inevitably to greater achievements than uncontrolled change.
To take control of your life you must begin by taking control of your mind. Successful happy people make a habit of thinking and talking only about the things they want. Unsuccessful, unhappy people unfortunately spend most of their time thinking and talking about what they don’t want. Life is a series of random occurrences and things just happen by accident. By failing to plan you are planning to fail. People who live by the laws of accident turn to be negative, pessimistic and helpless and feel that they have little control over their lives. The wonderful thing about goals is that the very act of setting goals frees you from living under the law of accident and put you squarely under the law of control and the law of cause and effect. You are completely responsible for everything that you are and for everything you become and achieve. You are always free to choose what you think and what you do. Responsibility begins with your taking full and complete control over the contents of your conscious mind. No one is coming to the rescue.
Successful people have a clear sense of purpose and direction in every area of their life. Success is goals and all else is common theory.
The more definite and focused you are that you feared is for you to make better decisions on your priorities and the use of your time. The more time you spend on your most important goals the more you accomplish and the better you get at accomplishing even more. And the more you achieve the better you feel about yourself and the more you feel like a winner and the more you want to achieve. You put yourself onto an upward spiral that leads to ever greater accomplishment. You feel terrific about yourself.
Take out a sheet of paper and write the word dreams and create your own five in your fantasy. Imagine that your income, bank account, relationships, family life, health, work and career are ideal in every way. What would they look like?
Your A1 goal should be your major definite purpose and the most important goal in your life. The accomplishment of this goal will lead you to the accomplishment of more of your other goals than any other single goal on your list. Make a list of everything you can think of that you can do to achieve that goal. Keep adding new ideas until your list is complete. You will have a goal and a plan for each important area of your life. Redo this plan each day morning and evening.
Resolve to do something every day to move yourself towards the attainment of one or more of your most important goals. This daily work on your goals enables you to develop the main things to maintain a degree of momentum.
Step one, decide exactly what you want. Step two, write it down. Step three, set a deadline. Step four, make a vision statement to achieve your goal. Step five, organize your list into a plan. Step six, take action. Step seven, do something everyday. Doing something everyday was more important than anything else you had ever learned. You will always fully compensate for whatever you do positive or negative.
Your rewards in life will be in direct proportion to the value of your service for others. All fortunes begin with the sale of personal services. If you wish to increase the quantity of your rewards you may first increase the quality and quantity of your service. Everyone works on commissions. The harder you work the luckier you get. To achieve more than the average person you must work longer and harder than the average person.
One hour of focused uninterrupted work time will give you the equivalent two to three hours of normal interrupted working time during the day. Effective performance is preceded by painstaking preparation. Abraham Lincoln said, “I shall study and prepare myself and someday my chance will come”. Action without thinking is the cause of every failure. The more things you have to do in the limited period of time the more you will be forced to work on your most important task. Only by stretching yourself can you discover how much you are truly capable. You perform at your highest potential only when you are focusing on the most valuable use of your time. Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action. All high achieving men and women are decisive in their thinking and their actions. They think things through carefully and advance.
Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid. Act as if it was impossible to fail and it shall be. When you are in doubt for any reason act as if it were impossible to fail and push forward. Just do it. Take a chance, act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid. Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person. Your ability to generate constructive ideas is to all intents and purposes is unlimited. Therefore your potential is unlimited as well. Ideas are a mode of transportation. Your job is to generate as many ideas as possible then take action on them. There is virtually no obstacle in life you cannot be overcome with the power of thought, concentration and ideas. Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve. Imagination rules the world. Imagination is more important than facts.
Mind storming, form a question and write twenty answers to the question in the present tense. Select at least one idea and take action on it immediately. Do this exercise everyday for a week first thing in the morning for whatever question of goals are most important to you at the moment. You will be amazed that the quality and quantity of ideas that springs from your imagination. To continue to experience the resistance and frustration is often an interconnected sense that you are doing the wrong thing.
You will find your competitive advantage in one sentence, in what way is your product or service superior to that of your competitors? What makes you special? Companies must target specific customer groups or market segments if they are to achieve significant sales. The ideal market segment contains both customers for whom the product’s competitive advantage is most important in satisfying their most pressing needs. Market success comes from concentrating single mindedly on selling to those customers you have segmented as being the ones who can most benefit immediately from unique product or service features you offer in your area of special addition. Finally the company should never stop learning, growing, innovating and improving. The Japanese call this process Kaizen.
Great business leadership is characterized by honesty, truthfulness and straight feeling with every person under all circumstances. Transformational leadership is the ability to touch people emotionally to empower them to be more and to contribute more than they ever have before. Leaders think about the future. The ability to make decisions and act boldly in the face of setbacks and adversity is the key to greatness in leadership.
Leadership is control of fear, mastery of fear. Every one is afraid, leaders are simply those who fix their fears and take action in spite of their fears. If you want to be successful faster you must double your rate of failure. Success lies on the far side of failure.
Frederick the Great’s motto was audacity, audacity, and always audacity. When faced with two dangers one behind you and one in front of you it is always better to go forward. The true confidence that all difficulties can be overcome and all goals can be obtained. “Difficulties come not to obstruct but to instruct”. Optimists focus on the future rather than the past they look for the opportunity in every difficulty, they think about what can be done now rather than focusing on what has happened in the past to who is to blame of it. Above all optimists are solution oriented rather than problem oriented. They are focused on the solution on the next step rather than the problem.
List your three most important goals in life right now then right down one step that you can take immediately to move you in the direction of each of these goals. This simple exercise will give you an increased sense of control and personal power.
Leaders are learners continuously striving to be better in their work and personal lives. They read, take additional courses and seminars and listen to audio programs in their cars.
The starting point of accumulating money is for you to believe that you have an unlimited capacity to obtain all the money that you will ever need. Look upon yourself as a financial success just waiting for a place to happen. Money is good money. Money gives you choices and enables you to live your life the way you want to live it. You live in an abundant universe in which there is sufficient money for all who really want it and are willing to obey the laws governing its acquisition. People become wealthy because they decide to become wealthy.
Why aren’t you rich already? Why aren’t you rich already? Write down all the reasons you can think of.
Your most precious resource is your time. Poor time management is the one of the major reasons for poor productivity and underachievement in every industry in America. It is the number one problem for both managers and sales-people in every field. Study after study show that salespeople work only about 20% of the time. The average sales person spends approximately 1½ hours per day in direct selling activities. In a recent study of 95 % managers admitted that, roughly 50% of working days are spend doing things that have absolutely nothing to do with the reason they are on the payroll. Time and money can be either spent or invested to a certain degree your time and you money are interchangeable. If you spend them they are gone forever. You cannot get them back.
Invest one hour of your time reading in your field everyday. The most successful people in any society are those who take the longest time period into consideration when making their day-to-day decisions. People at the lowest levels of the society have the shortest time perspective. At the very bottom of the social ladder you will find hopeless alcoholics and drug addicts. These people think in terms of the next drinks or the next sip. Their time perspective is often less than one hour. You move up the ladder socially and financially the day that you begin thinking about what you are doing in terms of possible long-term consequences of your actions. Late gratification is the key to financial success.
Self-discipline is the most important personal quality for assuring long-term success. Successful people are those who make a habit of doing the things that unsuccessful people don’t like to do. Getting up earlier, working harder, staying later, successful people are more concerned with pleasing results. Unsuccessful people are more concerned with pleasing methods. Unsuccessful people prefer activities that are tension relieving. Successful people pursue activities that are goal achieving.
Financial freedom comes to people who save 10% or more of their income throughout their lifetime. Pay yourself first. Begin today to save 10% of your income off the top and never touch it. If you allow your expenses to increase at a slower rate than your income and you save or invest the difference you become financially independent in your working lifetime. To be fully protected against the unexpected you require liquid saving equal to two to six months of normal expenses. The key to compound interest is to put the money away and never to touch it. An average person earning an average income who invested $100.00 per month from age 21 to 65 compounded at 10% would retire with $1,000,000.00. The more money you save and accumulate the more money you attract into your life. A prosperity consciousness attracts money like iron filings to a magnet.
I found that as you develop a positive and expecting attitude toward money and you begin with believing in the law of abundance your emotions somehow magnetize the money that you already have to attract even more money into your life.
Self-made millionaires spend 20 to 30 hours per month thinking about and setting their finances. They carefully plan and organize their accounts.
Some people do not like to be told or taught. Human relations experts are those who can present their ideas in such a way other five people will base them as their own. The top 10% of salespeople open 80% of the accounts. Products and services are sold not bought. Customers need to be asked to buy. 80% of sales are closed after the fifth call or the fifth closing attempt. 50% of the salespeople quit after the first call in a complex sale and 50% of salespeople fail to ask for the order even in a simple sale. Sometimes you are only one question away from your success. Organize duties in such a way that you receive more qualified prospects each day. Design your process in such a way that you are asking for business more often or you are offering you prospects more opportunity to buy in each day of conversation.
From this moment forward refuse to do anything that you can pay someone else $25.00 an hour to do. Do not drop off your dry cleaning, wash your car, and make your own photocopies. These activities do not pay $25.00 per hour. Be strict with yourself, practice self-discipline every moment. Use your time carefully hour by hour throughout the working day.
You must associate with the best in your field you must avoid the 80% of failures. Most of salespeople tend to be loners. Every decision to purchase a product or services an attempt to satisfy a need or releases dissatisfaction of some kind. Obviously it is often not the real need for which a products will be purchased. Customers like solutions not products or services. Proof that other people similar to the customer have purchased the product builds creditability, lowers resistance and increases sales. Testimony of any kind increase desirability and lower price resistance to a product or service. The primary obstacle to buying anything is the fear of failure, the fear of making a mistake in the buying decision.
Never allow yourself a luxury of saying that doesn’t matter, everything matters everything counts, everything is either adding up or taking away it’s either helping or hurting.
Top salespeople practice the 70 –30 rule. They listen 70% or more of the time and talk 30% of the time. Listening builds trust, the relationship is more important than the product or service. Spend 20% of your time with customers who have already brought from you. The best salespeople prepare thoroughly before every call.
Ben Feldman explains that his great success was largely due to his ability to ask the right questions at the time. He discovered that a properly worded question could turn a mutual or negative prospect into an interested customer. Sometimes it is just a few seconds. Begin today and ask for better prices in turn. If you want a better deal ask for it. Whatever the suggested price react with surprise and disappointment do that the best that you can do and remain perfectly silent. Almost every price has a built in cushion of available discount.
Check your assumptions incorrect assumptions lie the roots of most mistakes.
Everything you are today and everything you become in the future will be determined by the way you think and the way you use your time.
Successful people have developed the ability to get a lot more done in the same period of time than unsuccessful people. They have clear goals and objectives clear and specific plans and well-organized calendars. The clearer you are about your goals and objectives the more efficient and effective you will be in achieving them. Clarity accounts were probably 80% of success and happiness. Success is goals and all else is commentary. Clarity, Clarity, clarity with regard to your goals.
Meanwhile you will do fewer and fewer the things that don’t help to get the things that you really want. Do something everyday that moves you towards the attainment of one or more of your important goals.
If you have a list of ten items to accomplish choose those items which are worth more than the other eight items together. What is the most valuable use of my time right now? Whatever it is, work on that. Imagine that you are going to receive a $100,000.00 bonus at the end of the month if you can work on your highest priority items every minute of the day.
What activities in my life can I cut back or delegate or just continue to free up more time for my most important activity? Every minute spent in planning saves ten minutes in execution, the purpose of personal strategic planning is for you to increase your return on energy the return on the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual capital you have invested in your life and career. It takes only about 10 to 12 minutes for you to make up a plan for your day. The very act of planning forces you to think better and more accurately about everything you do. The more you think about and plan something on paper the faster and more efficiently you will accomplish it when you start work. Think on paper. You are always free to choose what you do first what you do second and what you do not at all.
Your entire life today is the sum total result of the quality of your choices and decisions to this moment. Certain things you do enable you to accomplish drastically more than you would if you would spend the same amount of time in other activities.
One multiplication factor that you can find is the point of intensity. A point of intensity is something that you can have tremendous impact on the activities of other people. What are your potential points of intensity? What are the activities you engage in that have tremendous leverage and that they affect the activities of other people and the use of other resources?
Develop a sense of urgency. Only 2% of population has the sense of urgency and they eventually outpace everyone else. The ability to start and complete the most important tasks determines your productivity more than any other skill. Remember the law of single handling. Maximum performance is possible only when you concentrate single-mindedly on one task, the most important task, and you stay at it until it is 100% complete. You cannot do everything. You can do one thing, the most important thing, and you can do it now. Single handling is perhaps the most powerful of all time management technique. Your job today is to develop the life long habit of task completion.
The faster you move the more experiences you have and the more lessons you learn. The smarter more capable you become the more energy you have and the more creative and confident you will be.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1576751074
© 2000 by Brian Tracey
I set off on a lifelong journey to find out why the world works the way it does. I began to notice consistent and predictable patterns and principles that seem to accompany all business success. Anyone one of these laws can save you months or even years of hard work. Brian Tracey speaks to 300,000 people each year worldwide and he has traveled to eighty countries on five continents.
This is a wonderful time to be alive. The wonderful thing about information and ideas is that they are infinitely divisible. Knowledge is accumulative. Business warfare is aimed at winning customers and markets. Small differences in ability can lead to enormous difference in result. When you organize your life and business activities around the unbreakable laws of business success you are virtually guaranteed to enjoy success and prosperity in your business activities. The first 10% of time that you invest in finding out the underlined laws principles, rules message and techniques of successful action in any field will save you 90% of the time and effort required to achieve your goals in that area.
The smartest people are those who take the time to find out the rules of success in any area before they attempt to get results in that area. Over the years I read hundreds of additional books and articles in my search for the so called secrets of success. When I was given an opportunity to build the sales forces I asked experts, read books, listened to audio programs and attended courses on the recruiting and building sales organizations. I found that all the successful, happy, dynamic, prosperous and growing enterprises practice these principles consistently and virtually everything they do.
When you align your activities with these universal principles you will find yourself getting more and better results with less effort. You will be more relaxed and confident. You will be more optimistic and cheerful. You will be more efficient and effective. One final point before we begin.
The most common quality of successful people is they are intensely action oriented. They are pro-active rather than re-active. They take initiative. When they hear a good idea they act on it immediately by taking action quickly they immediately get feedback that enables them to self correct and move ahead. Why do so many people live lives of quite desperation? Everything happens for a reason. When you are absolutely clear about what you want you only need to copy others who have achieved it before you and you will eventually get the same results that they have. Whatsoever a man sows also shall he reap, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Thoughts are causes and conditions are effects. Your thoughts are the primary creative forces in your life.
You create your entire world by the way you think and when you change your thinking you change your life sometime in seconds. You become what you think about most of the time. It is not the world outside you that dictates your circumstances or conditions it is the world inside you that creates the conditions of your life. It is the way you interpret the events to yourself that determines how you react. Whatever you truly believe with feeling becomes your reality. For you to progress to move onward and upward in your life and business you must continually challenge yourself, limiting beliefs. Free your mind from doubt and fear. Imagine you have no limitations. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail.
Whatever you expect with confidence becomes your own self recurring prophecy. In your own personal life your expectations of your staff, your boss, your customers and even your future tense come through. Expect the best. Start at home and tell your spouse and children on a regular basis that you believe in them. That you think they are wonderful, that you love them and that you are proud of them. In a positive expectation family, the parents continually fed their children extremely positive messages referring how much they love them and believe in them. No matter what happens in the short term the children always knew that their parents were behind them 100% and they didn’t disappoint their parents.
You are a living magnet. You invariably attract into your life the people, situations and circumstances that are in harmony with your dominant thought. You can change your life because you can change the way you think. Birds of the feather flock together, light attracts light. What ever you want wants you. This is why you can think about a person sometime at a great distance and in the next moment the phone will ring up and that person would be on the line. When ever things are not going well in any organization the fastest way to bring about change is to bring in a new person who changes the way people think and feel about themselves and what they are doing. Engage in a rigorous process of self analysis. Take full credit for all the good things in your life. Then look around at the things you don’t like and take full responsibility for them as well.
Your outer world is the reflection of your inner world that corresponds with your dominant patterns of thinking. Your relationships always reflect back to you the kind of person you are on the inside. That is hard for most people to accept. Most people think that the problems in their lives are caused by other people and external circumstances. They want others to change. They want the world to change but they do not want to change themselves.
You can control only one thing in the world and that is the way you think. However, when you take complete control over your thinking you take control over all the other aspects of your life. The basic principle of human action is that everything you do is aimed at improving your life in some way. Once you are programmed to target or desire into your sub conscious mind your super conscious and your super conscious mind takes on a power of their own that seems to both drive and steer you inevitably towards the attainment of your goal whatever it is. Goal achieving seems to happen almost automatically.
Become perfectly clear about what is it you want and exactly what it will look like when you have achieved it. Less than 3% of adults have clear written goals and do it yourself plans to achieve that. These 3% goal setters are earning on average 10 times as much as those people with no written goals at all.
When you write down your goals you immediately become a different person. The very active lines of description of what you want to accomplish and what you intend to do to accomplish it will change your life. The probability of your accomplishing them increases ten times by putting it in writing. Make a list of ten goals that you want to achieve over the next twelve months. Write out these goals and present them as though a year has past and you have already achieved them. When you re-read the list after one year you will find that eight of your ten goals have been achieved. Often your goals won’t materialize much faster. You feel good about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are in control of your own life. People with an internal locus of control, those who feel that they are behind the wheels of their own lives tend to be low stress high performance personalities. People with an external locus of control those who feel that what they are doing is dictated by other people and pressures tend to be high stressed low performance personalities. A sense of control is absolutely essential for you to perform at your best. Change is inevitable. Goals allow you to control the direction of change. Control change leaves inevitably to greater achievements than uncontrolled change.
To take control of your life you must begin by taking control of your mind. Successful happy people make a habit of thinking and talking only about the things they want. Unsuccessful, unhappy people unfortunately spend most of their time thinking and talking about what they don’t want. Life is a series of random occurrences and things just happen by accident. By failing to plan you are planning to fail. People who live by the laws of accident turn to be negative, pessimistic and helpless and feel that they have little control over their lives. The wonderful thing about goals is that the very act of setting goals frees you from living under the law of accident and put you squarely under the law of control and the law of cause and effect. You are completely responsible for everything that you are and for everything you become and achieve. You are always free to choose what you think and what you do. Responsibility begins with your taking full and complete control over the contents of your conscious mind. No one is coming to the rescue.
Successful people have a clear sense of purpose and direction in every area of their life. Success is goals and all else is common theory.
The more definite and focused you are that you feared is for you to make better decisions on your priorities and the use of your time. The more time you spend on your most important goals the more you accomplish and the better you get at accomplishing even more. And the more you achieve the better you feel about yourself and the more you feel like a winner and the more you want to achieve. You put yourself onto an upward spiral that leads to ever greater accomplishment. You feel terrific about yourself.
Take out a sheet of paper and write the word dreams and create your own five in your fantasy. Imagine that your income, bank account, relationships, family life, health, work and career are ideal in every way. What would they look like?
Your A1 goal should be your major definite purpose and the most important goal in your life. The accomplishment of this goal will lead you to the accomplishment of more of your other goals than any other single goal on your list. Make a list of everything you can think of that you can do to achieve that goal. Keep adding new ideas until your list is complete. You will have a goal and a plan for each important area of your life. Redo this plan each day morning and evening.
Resolve to do something every day to move yourself towards the attainment of one or more of your most important goals. This daily work on your goals enables you to develop the main things to maintain a degree of momentum.
Step one, decide exactly what you want. Step two, write it down. Step three, set a deadline. Step four, make a vision statement to achieve your goal. Step five, organize your list into a plan. Step six, take action. Step seven, do something everyday. Doing something everyday was more important than anything else you had ever learned. You will always fully compensate for whatever you do positive or negative.
Your rewards in life will be in direct proportion to the value of your service for others. All fortunes begin with the sale of personal services. If you wish to increase the quantity of your rewards you may first increase the quality and quantity of your service. Everyone works on commissions. The harder you work the luckier you get. To achieve more than the average person you must work longer and harder than the average person.
One hour of focused uninterrupted work time will give you the equivalent two to three hours of normal interrupted working time during the day. Effective performance is preceded by painstaking preparation. Abraham Lincoln said, “I shall study and prepare myself and someday my chance will come”. Action without thinking is the cause of every failure. The more things you have to do in the limited period of time the more you will be forced to work on your most important task. Only by stretching yourself can you discover how much you are truly capable. You perform at your highest potential only when you are focusing on the most valuable use of your time. Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action. All high achieving men and women are decisive in their thinking and their actions. They think things through carefully and advance.
Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid. Act as if it was impossible to fail and it shall be. When you are in doubt for any reason act as if it were impossible to fail and push forward. Just do it. Take a chance, act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid. Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person. Your ability to generate constructive ideas is to all intents and purposes is unlimited. Therefore your potential is unlimited as well. Ideas are a mode of transportation. Your job is to generate as many ideas as possible then take action on them. There is virtually no obstacle in life you cannot be overcome with the power of thought, concentration and ideas. Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve. Imagination rules the world. Imagination is more important than facts.
Mind storming, form a question and write twenty answers to the question in the present tense. Select at least one idea and take action on it immediately. Do this exercise everyday for a week first thing in the morning for whatever question of goals are most important to you at the moment. You will be amazed that the quality and quantity of ideas that springs from your imagination. To continue to experience the resistance and frustration is often an interconnected sense that you are doing the wrong thing.
You will find your competitive advantage in one sentence, in what way is your product or service superior to that of your competitors? What makes you special? Companies must target specific customer groups or market segments if they are to achieve significant sales. The ideal market segment contains both customers for whom the product’s competitive advantage is most important in satisfying their most pressing needs. Market success comes from concentrating single mindedly on selling to those customers you have segmented as being the ones who can most benefit immediately from unique product or service features you offer in your area of special addition. Finally the company should never stop learning, growing, innovating and improving. The Japanese call this process Kaizen.
Great business leadership is characterized by honesty, truthfulness and straight feeling with every person under all circumstances. Transformational leadership is the ability to touch people emotionally to empower them to be more and to contribute more than they ever have before. Leaders think about the future. The ability to make decisions and act boldly in the face of setbacks and adversity is the key to greatness in leadership.
Leadership is control of fear, mastery of fear. Every one is afraid, leaders are simply those who fix their fears and take action in spite of their fears. If you want to be successful faster you must double your rate of failure. Success lies on the far side of failure.
Frederick the Great’s motto was audacity, audacity, and always audacity. When faced with two dangers one behind you and one in front of you it is always better to go forward. The true confidence that all difficulties can be overcome and all goals can be obtained. “Difficulties come not to obstruct but to instruct”. Optimists focus on the future rather than the past they look for the opportunity in every difficulty, they think about what can be done now rather than focusing on what has happened in the past to who is to blame of it. Above all optimists are solution oriented rather than problem oriented. They are focused on the solution on the next step rather than the problem.
List your three most important goals in life right now then right down one step that you can take immediately to move you in the direction of each of these goals. This simple exercise will give you an increased sense of control and personal power.
Leaders are learners continuously striving to be better in their work and personal lives. They read, take additional courses and seminars and listen to audio programs in their cars.
The starting point of accumulating money is for you to believe that you have an unlimited capacity to obtain all the money that you will ever need. Look upon yourself as a financial success just waiting for a place to happen. Money is good money. Money gives you choices and enables you to live your life the way you want to live it. You live in an abundant universe in which there is sufficient money for all who really want it and are willing to obey the laws governing its acquisition. People become wealthy because they decide to become wealthy.
Why aren’t you rich already? Why aren’t you rich already? Write down all the reasons you can think of.
Your most precious resource is your time. Poor time management is the one of the major reasons for poor productivity and underachievement in every industry in America. It is the number one problem for both managers and sales-people in every field. Study after study show that salespeople work only about 20% of the time. The average sales person spends approximately 1½ hours per day in direct selling activities. In a recent study of 95 % managers admitted that, roughly 50% of working days are spend doing things that have absolutely nothing to do with the reason they are on the payroll. Time and money can be either spent or invested to a certain degree your time and you money are interchangeable. If you spend them they are gone forever. You cannot get them back.
Invest one hour of your time reading in your field everyday. The most successful people in any society are those who take the longest time period into consideration when making their day-to-day decisions. People at the lowest levels of the society have the shortest time perspective. At the very bottom of the social ladder you will find hopeless alcoholics and drug addicts. These people think in terms of the next drinks or the next sip. Their time perspective is often less than one hour. You move up the ladder socially and financially the day that you begin thinking about what you are doing in terms of possible long-term consequences of your actions. Late gratification is the key to financial success.
Self-discipline is the most important personal quality for assuring long-term success. Successful people are those who make a habit of doing the things that unsuccessful people don’t like to do. Getting up earlier, working harder, staying later, successful people are more concerned with pleasing results. Unsuccessful people are more concerned with pleasing methods. Unsuccessful people prefer activities that are tension relieving. Successful people pursue activities that are goal achieving.
Financial freedom comes to people who save 10% or more of their income throughout their lifetime. Pay yourself first. Begin today to save 10% of your income off the top and never touch it. If you allow your expenses to increase at a slower rate than your income and you save or invest the difference you become financially independent in your working lifetime. To be fully protected against the unexpected you require liquid saving equal to two to six months of normal expenses. The key to compound interest is to put the money away and never to touch it. An average person earning an average income who invested $100.00 per month from age 21 to 65 compounded at 10% would retire with $1,000,000.00. The more money you save and accumulate the more money you attract into your life. A prosperity consciousness attracts money like iron filings to a magnet.
I found that as you develop a positive and expecting attitude toward money and you begin with believing in the law of abundance your emotions somehow magnetize the money that you already have to attract even more money into your life.
Self-made millionaires spend 20 to 30 hours per month thinking about and setting their finances. They carefully plan and organize their accounts.
Some people do not like to be told or taught. Human relations experts are those who can present their ideas in such a way other five people will base them as their own. The top 10% of salespeople open 80% of the accounts. Products and services are sold not bought. Customers need to be asked to buy. 80% of sales are closed after the fifth call or the fifth closing attempt. 50% of the salespeople quit after the first call in a complex sale and 50% of salespeople fail to ask for the order even in a simple sale. Sometimes you are only one question away from your success. Organize duties in such a way that you receive more qualified prospects each day. Design your process in such a way that you are asking for business more often or you are offering you prospects more opportunity to buy in each day of conversation.
From this moment forward refuse to do anything that you can pay someone else $25.00 an hour to do. Do not drop off your dry cleaning, wash your car, and make your own photocopies. These activities do not pay $25.00 per hour. Be strict with yourself, practice self-discipline every moment. Use your time carefully hour by hour throughout the working day.
You must associate with the best in your field you must avoid the 80% of failures. Most of salespeople tend to be loners. Every decision to purchase a product or services an attempt to satisfy a need or releases dissatisfaction of some kind. Obviously it is often not the real need for which a products will be purchased. Customers like solutions not products or services. Proof that other people similar to the customer have purchased the product builds creditability, lowers resistance and increases sales. Testimony of any kind increase desirability and lower price resistance to a product or service. The primary obstacle to buying anything is the fear of failure, the fear of making a mistake in the buying decision.
Never allow yourself a luxury of saying that doesn’t matter, everything matters everything counts, everything is either adding up or taking away it’s either helping or hurting.
Top salespeople practice the 70 –30 rule. They listen 70% or more of the time and talk 30% of the time. Listening builds trust, the relationship is more important than the product or service. Spend 20% of your time with customers who have already brought from you. The best salespeople prepare thoroughly before every call.
Ben Feldman explains that his great success was largely due to his ability to ask the right questions at the time. He discovered that a properly worded question could turn a mutual or negative prospect into an interested customer. Sometimes it is just a few seconds. Begin today and ask for better prices in turn. If you want a better deal ask for it. Whatever the suggested price react with surprise and disappointment do that the best that you can do and remain perfectly silent. Almost every price has a built in cushion of available discount.
Check your assumptions incorrect assumptions lie the roots of most mistakes.
Everything you are today and everything you become in the future will be determined by the way you think and the way you use your time.
Successful people have developed the ability to get a lot more done in the same period of time than unsuccessful people. They have clear goals and objectives clear and specific plans and well-organized calendars. The clearer you are about your goals and objectives the more efficient and effective you will be in achieving them. Clarity accounts were probably 80% of success and happiness. Success is goals and all else is commentary. Clarity, Clarity, clarity with regard to your goals.
Meanwhile you will do fewer and fewer the things that don’t help to get the things that you really want. Do something everyday that moves you towards the attainment of one or more of your important goals.
If you have a list of ten items to accomplish choose those items which are worth more than the other eight items together. What is the most valuable use of my time right now? Whatever it is, work on that. Imagine that you are going to receive a $100,000.00 bonus at the end of the month if you can work on your highest priority items every minute of the day.
What activities in my life can I cut back or delegate or just continue to free up more time for my most important activity? Every minute spent in planning saves ten minutes in execution, the purpose of personal strategic planning is for you to increase your return on energy the return on the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual capital you have invested in your life and career. It takes only about 10 to 12 minutes for you to make up a plan for your day. The very act of planning forces you to think better and more accurately about everything you do. The more you think about and plan something on paper the faster and more efficiently you will accomplish it when you start work. Think on paper. You are always free to choose what you do first what you do second and what you do not at all.
Your entire life today is the sum total result of the quality of your choices and decisions to this moment. Certain things you do enable you to accomplish drastically more than you would if you would spend the same amount of time in other activities.
One multiplication factor that you can find is the point of intensity. A point of intensity is something that you can have tremendous impact on the activities of other people. What are your potential points of intensity? What are the activities you engage in that have tremendous leverage and that they affect the activities of other people and the use of other resources?
Develop a sense of urgency. Only 2% of population has the sense of urgency and they eventually outpace everyone else. The ability to start and complete the most important tasks determines your productivity more than any other skill. Remember the law of single handling. Maximum performance is possible only when you concentrate single-mindedly on one task, the most important task, and you stay at it until it is 100% complete. You cannot do everything. You can do one thing, the most important thing, and you can do it now. Single handling is perhaps the most powerful of all time management technique. Your job today is to develop the life long habit of task completion.
The faster you move the more experiences you have and the more lessons you learn. The smarter more capable you become the more energy you have and the more creative and confident you will be.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1576751074
Hidden Power for Human Problems
Hidden Power for Human Problems
© 1957 by Frederick Bailes
Man’s soul is a battleground of conflicting forces. As a man thinkeths in his heart so he is. Any of us can bring into his life anything that he wishes through the infinite creative process operating through the mind of the individual. The law, which I call creative law, will prove itself in any human activity in which we use it and trust it.
A simple statement of creative law would be that man lives in the surrounding river of minds into which his thoughts fall and which he forcefully turns all these thoughts into form. The river seems to obey man because its nature is to translate his thoughts into experience. Now, if all of the man’s thoughts were turned into experiences and to events in his life he would follow that. If he wants perfect experience he must think perfect thoughts.
It is done unto you as you believe. All sins ultimately are the holding of wrong thoughts. The more successful I was in correcting my dominant thought pattern, the more singleness I would be brought into my affairs. If I am I, the single, my whole body would be full of life. We learn by practice not by theory.
I would like to emphasize at this point that seven days of practicing what I am about to explain will produce more proofs than volumes of theoretical explanation. This is the way to walk you in it.
First we must understand creative law. Second we must furnish it with the correct thoughts to work with. Those correct thoughts are pictures we must form the correct image. Third, we release the image to the servant to creative law.
I was often discouraged and attempted to place the cause of my misery outside of myself. But each of us stands today exactly where he stands belongs by right of consciousness. Some persons cringe at such a statement, shrink from it, produce arguments and apparent proofs to show that their sufferings are the faults of others or not their own. For it is fundamental that each man is the maker of his own heaven or hell. Notice that I declared the truth; there is no room for doubt in directing the creative law. Though you may feel doubt you do not act on it.
Creative law works not by your feelings but by the images which you use to form and give to it to work with. This may sound ridiculously simple. All things are simple once we understand them. I have through the use of words affirmed what I call a master thought. I release this image to my servant. My duty then was to go about my affairs leaving the servant’s work undisturbed.
My last words were the customary ones – “it is so”. It was so, it has never returned. The human mind is slippery and evasive. It is easy to persuade oneself of belief in a certain thing but since it is the law of mind that we eventually manifest only that in which we deeply believe. Mahatma Gandhi was the object of much derision but it never really touched him.
For more than a quarter of this century I have faced desperate men and women across my desk seeking assistance. I came to understand that problems of body and circumstances are traceable to less than a dozen basic states of mind. I have given the name parent thoughts to the false beliefs and master thoughts their corrective opposites.
The first thing the individual must learn is that man thinks not only with his brain but with every cell of his body. Therefore whatever issues from the brain must become the pattern of the soul’s thinking. Nothing in the universe possesses the power to irritate him without his consent. Persons, places, and things never irritate us; it is our reaction to them that is irritative. A stimulus has no irritating power in itself but the person can give it the power of irritating him or if he chooses his response can be one of imperturbable serenity.
A mystic is one who penetrates the outer material world of sensations and finds his way into the inner world of reality. In this inner world higher laws prevail. That which we consciously select in our reasoning mind tends to recede into our deeper levels of mind where it is gradually molded into the stuff of character. This is the truth about me whether I believe it or not. We will never again be guilty of saying why has this experience come upon me or why do people do thus or so to me. The emphasis shifts from why to what. What in me is stirring this up in them?
Love has a definite healing power we could begin to praise someone sincerely. Earlier we said that if smile was union a frown was separation, as part of the process of healing one could commence consciously and deliberately to cultivate the habit of greeting others with a quick warm smile. We can better change conditions by turning to the desirable rather than by turning from the undesirable. Feel the consciousness with what we want brought forth in our lives rather than what we want driven out. Since the law of life is to increase and magnify any state of mind at first a person is moving constantly out into deeper waters of supply.
It is not true that everything always goes wrong with any person. A sense of futility blinds him from the many things that arise. Men search for gold but they seldom find it in large nuggets. They carefully pan for tiny specks and flakes. Our mind has always seeing more of anything that we are looking for. None of us ever has the chance to accept a chance that he makes for himself. Heaven and hell have their origins within the human heart. No one is ever condemned by any power outside itself. We condemn ourselves to a life of frustration.
The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The riches are the riches of the conscious. Psychologists tell us that fear is not an inheritance. Infants enter the world with only a fear of a loud noise or being dropped, but every other fear that drives us has been built up during our lifetime.
Our minds are like picture galleries. Old pictures are constantly being taken down and new ones put up. Never give utterance to any negative idea. The best treatment to give them is to state their opposites as clearly and confidently as we can. Shun that person who whines and complains who loves to pounce up on the weakness and mistakes of others. Avoid those who dote on their illnesses and whose conversation is chiefly on the morbid happenings in life. Seek out the company of the cheerful persons. We tend to absorb the mental atmosphere of those with whom we associate. There is a familiarizing effect in repetition.
Feeling follows action rather than precedes it. If you wait until you feel brave you will never feel brave. The control of this whole situation is mental but we could stimulate the mental by our physical actions. He found that the successful man pushes feelings into the background and lives by his coldly considered choices. The tremendous importance of man’s power to choose has never been sufficiently stressed. One can choose in spite of his feelings and that which he chooses will become the dominant inner pattern of his thoughts- William James’ finding that feeling follows action rather than precedes it.
Fifty years of negative thinking does not take 50 years to reverse; it could come quickly; from thoughts to words to actions. For the person who looks clearly at life there is never any competition. The infinite never is unaware of any hostile opposing force.
Suppose that we start with the assumption that there is an infinite reservoir of all that is said. Any idea held steadily in mind is bound to come forth in experience. When man affirms to a statement of belief he sets in motion a tremendous current of power.
Hostility is separation while love is unity. He who is filled with feelings of inferiority has placed himself in the center of his own affection. His thought is continually upon himself the impression that he is making, the opinion others hold of him, their possible criticism, and the possibility of their hurting him. Get into that frame of mind where you believe that you have a silent partner who agrees with you that there is a clear road ahead. Learn how to expect the good to happen. Every morning when you wake deliberately ask yourself I wonder what good things will happen today; what good contacts I shall make; what good deals will be closed; what good work will be done. Cultivate the expectancy of the good rather than of trouble. Don’t tell yourself that you are only kidding yourself when you say this. You must see yourself as part of the universe.
The feeling of overload is not uncommon among humans. No one can take anything from us without our consent. She recalled that all her life she had lost things. What thought has caused thought can cure. Conviction tends to grow after we have made a definite choice. This is the law of mind. It will work as well for you as in the past it has worked against you. All things are possible to him that believes it. Change your outlook and you can change your world.
If external condition is ignored acceptance is formed into master thought to replace the indicated parent thought. Parent thought overloads utility. I can’t go through with this. Parent thought obstruction/delay, parent thought loss, parent thought irritation, parent thought hostility/cross‑purposes, parent thought rejection, parent thought wrong action.
Master thought - my strength is sufficient for me. Nothing can stand in the way for the resistless flow of the infinite expression. Nothing is ever lost in the infinite mind. Nothing outside of me has the power to irritate me without my consent. The world is friendly. I know my true worth. Health and joy are natural.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0133869539
© 1957 by Frederick Bailes
Man’s soul is a battleground of conflicting forces. As a man thinkeths in his heart so he is. Any of us can bring into his life anything that he wishes through the infinite creative process operating through the mind of the individual. The law, which I call creative law, will prove itself in any human activity in which we use it and trust it.
A simple statement of creative law would be that man lives in the surrounding river of minds into which his thoughts fall and which he forcefully turns all these thoughts into form. The river seems to obey man because its nature is to translate his thoughts into experience. Now, if all of the man’s thoughts were turned into experiences and to events in his life he would follow that. If he wants perfect experience he must think perfect thoughts.
It is done unto you as you believe. All sins ultimately are the holding of wrong thoughts. The more successful I was in correcting my dominant thought pattern, the more singleness I would be brought into my affairs. If I am I, the single, my whole body would be full of life. We learn by practice not by theory.
I would like to emphasize at this point that seven days of practicing what I am about to explain will produce more proofs than volumes of theoretical explanation. This is the way to walk you in it.
First we must understand creative law. Second we must furnish it with the correct thoughts to work with. Those correct thoughts are pictures we must form the correct image. Third, we release the image to the servant to creative law.
I was often discouraged and attempted to place the cause of my misery outside of myself. But each of us stands today exactly where he stands belongs by right of consciousness. Some persons cringe at such a statement, shrink from it, produce arguments and apparent proofs to show that their sufferings are the faults of others or not their own. For it is fundamental that each man is the maker of his own heaven or hell. Notice that I declared the truth; there is no room for doubt in directing the creative law. Though you may feel doubt you do not act on it.
Creative law works not by your feelings but by the images which you use to form and give to it to work with. This may sound ridiculously simple. All things are simple once we understand them. I have through the use of words affirmed what I call a master thought. I release this image to my servant. My duty then was to go about my affairs leaving the servant’s work undisturbed.
My last words were the customary ones – “it is so”. It was so, it has never returned. The human mind is slippery and evasive. It is easy to persuade oneself of belief in a certain thing but since it is the law of mind that we eventually manifest only that in which we deeply believe. Mahatma Gandhi was the object of much derision but it never really touched him.
For more than a quarter of this century I have faced desperate men and women across my desk seeking assistance. I came to understand that problems of body and circumstances are traceable to less than a dozen basic states of mind. I have given the name parent thoughts to the false beliefs and master thoughts their corrective opposites.
The first thing the individual must learn is that man thinks not only with his brain but with every cell of his body. Therefore whatever issues from the brain must become the pattern of the soul’s thinking. Nothing in the universe possesses the power to irritate him without his consent. Persons, places, and things never irritate us; it is our reaction to them that is irritative. A stimulus has no irritating power in itself but the person can give it the power of irritating him or if he chooses his response can be one of imperturbable serenity.
A mystic is one who penetrates the outer material world of sensations and finds his way into the inner world of reality. In this inner world higher laws prevail. That which we consciously select in our reasoning mind tends to recede into our deeper levels of mind where it is gradually molded into the stuff of character. This is the truth about me whether I believe it or not. We will never again be guilty of saying why has this experience come upon me or why do people do thus or so to me. The emphasis shifts from why to what. What in me is stirring this up in them?
Love has a definite healing power we could begin to praise someone sincerely. Earlier we said that if smile was union a frown was separation, as part of the process of healing one could commence consciously and deliberately to cultivate the habit of greeting others with a quick warm smile. We can better change conditions by turning to the desirable rather than by turning from the undesirable. Feel the consciousness with what we want brought forth in our lives rather than what we want driven out. Since the law of life is to increase and magnify any state of mind at first a person is moving constantly out into deeper waters of supply.
It is not true that everything always goes wrong with any person. A sense of futility blinds him from the many things that arise. Men search for gold but they seldom find it in large nuggets. They carefully pan for tiny specks and flakes. Our mind has always seeing more of anything that we are looking for. None of us ever has the chance to accept a chance that he makes for himself. Heaven and hell have their origins within the human heart. No one is ever condemned by any power outside itself. We condemn ourselves to a life of frustration.
The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The riches are the riches of the conscious. Psychologists tell us that fear is not an inheritance. Infants enter the world with only a fear of a loud noise or being dropped, but every other fear that drives us has been built up during our lifetime.
Our minds are like picture galleries. Old pictures are constantly being taken down and new ones put up. Never give utterance to any negative idea. The best treatment to give them is to state their opposites as clearly and confidently as we can. Shun that person who whines and complains who loves to pounce up on the weakness and mistakes of others. Avoid those who dote on their illnesses and whose conversation is chiefly on the morbid happenings in life. Seek out the company of the cheerful persons. We tend to absorb the mental atmosphere of those with whom we associate. There is a familiarizing effect in repetition.
Feeling follows action rather than precedes it. If you wait until you feel brave you will never feel brave. The control of this whole situation is mental but we could stimulate the mental by our physical actions. He found that the successful man pushes feelings into the background and lives by his coldly considered choices. The tremendous importance of man’s power to choose has never been sufficiently stressed. One can choose in spite of his feelings and that which he chooses will become the dominant inner pattern of his thoughts- William James’ finding that feeling follows action rather than precedes it.
Fifty years of negative thinking does not take 50 years to reverse; it could come quickly; from thoughts to words to actions. For the person who looks clearly at life there is never any competition. The infinite never is unaware of any hostile opposing force.
Suppose that we start with the assumption that there is an infinite reservoir of all that is said. Any idea held steadily in mind is bound to come forth in experience. When man affirms to a statement of belief he sets in motion a tremendous current of power.
Hostility is separation while love is unity. He who is filled with feelings of inferiority has placed himself in the center of his own affection. His thought is continually upon himself the impression that he is making, the opinion others hold of him, their possible criticism, and the possibility of their hurting him. Get into that frame of mind where you believe that you have a silent partner who agrees with you that there is a clear road ahead. Learn how to expect the good to happen. Every morning when you wake deliberately ask yourself I wonder what good things will happen today; what good contacts I shall make; what good deals will be closed; what good work will be done. Cultivate the expectancy of the good rather than of trouble. Don’t tell yourself that you are only kidding yourself when you say this. You must see yourself as part of the universe.
The feeling of overload is not uncommon among humans. No one can take anything from us without our consent. She recalled that all her life she had lost things. What thought has caused thought can cure. Conviction tends to grow after we have made a definite choice. This is the law of mind. It will work as well for you as in the past it has worked against you. All things are possible to him that believes it. Change your outlook and you can change your world.
If external condition is ignored acceptance is formed into master thought to replace the indicated parent thought. Parent thought overloads utility. I can’t go through with this. Parent thought obstruction/delay, parent thought loss, parent thought irritation, parent thought hostility/cross‑purposes, parent thought rejection, parent thought wrong action.
Master thought - my strength is sufficient for me. Nothing can stand in the way for the resistless flow of the infinite expression. Nothing is ever lost in the infinite mind. Nothing outside of me has the power to irritate me without my consent. The world is friendly. I know my true worth. Health and joy are natural.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0133869539
Mozart’s Brain and the Fighter Pilot
Mozart’s Brain and the Fighter Pilot
© 2001 by Richard Restak, MD
Learn as much as possible about how your brain works. Apply your knowledge about the brain to organize ideas. Think of the brain as the creator of incredibly rich montages. Your capacity for new learning increases as you grow older. Learn about your brain’s motor programs. Take advantage of the intimate relationship of learning, memory, and intelligence. Include your memory by using a memory system. Develop your emotional memory. Think in terms of brain geography. Develop linkages associating as many things as you can. Engage in activities that stimulate extensive portions of the brain. Practice forms of mental hygiene. Turn your feeling and emotions to your advantage. Take active measures to reduce stress. Learn to work in concert with your personal bodily rhythms. Strengthen your powers of attention and concentration. Train your powers of logic. Develop the tolerance for uncertainty and ambiguity. Develop your powers of metacognition thinking about your thinking. Increase mental acuity through wide and varied reading. Heighten your sensory capacities. Learn about and experience art and music. Organize a physical exercise program that aims at brain enhancement. Cultivate fine motor control skills involving your hands. Regularly practice some form of mental relaxation. Use technology to augment your brain’s functioning. Concentrate on and act in harmony with your natural abilities. Cognition, alertness, concentration, perceptual speed, learning memory, problems solving, creativity, mental endurance, the more we exercise it the better it performs and the better we feel. An older person reduces risk of developing dementia by remaining mentally active. The Greeks feel that they generated a memory that they transformed it into a goddess - Mnemosyne Mother of the Muses. The map is not preparatory.
Ray Bradbury said “In my early 20s I floundered into a word association process in which I simply got out of bed each morning and walked to my desk and put down any word or series of words that happened along in my head. It is never too late to enhance the musical appreciation of the brain. Work on jigsaw puzzles, musical instruments, paint, draw, create art, write letters, play cards, play board games, garden, walk for exercise. Head scans reveal that thinking sad versus happy thoughts can change brain chemistry. The brain gets sharper the more it is used. New circuits are forming all the times depending on your level of mental activity or inactivity. Sequencing after you have read you may want to later summarize it for friends. Try to remain alert and aware of events around or pay attention, stay focused, executive control. Future memory refers to your ability to look forward to future goals. Increase your memory and you increase your basic intelligence.
Write down a series of numbers selected at random. Start with strings of five digits and work up to nine digits. Just quickly write down whatever comes to mind. Repeat the strings out loud. When you can repeat nine digits without error, increase the number of digits until you reach your personal outer limit. At this point return to five digits and recite the numbers backwards. You should be able to manage at least nine digits.
Next perform exercises with words instead of numbers. After spelling the word correctly in the forward direction try to spell it backward.
Select four unrelated words and write them down. Say the words for fifteen seconds then put them away. Set alarm for five minutes. When the alarms sounds try to recall the words. With each success increase the number of words in the timeframe until you get about ten words remembered over several hours. Simply register the words without any conscious attempt to form memory tags.
Paired associated learning. Write down a list of twenty words pairs, chosen at random. Study it for five minutes and then cover the first word and see how many of the associated words you can recall. Select a random three letters to the alphabet and then record all words that begin with that letter that begins, in one minute.
Records all animal names you can remember in one minute. The normal performance for anyone under 17 years old is between 17 and 24 animal names. When you finish repeat the test with the change in your strategy. Think about ways of categorizing animals. The brain operates at its best when working within a context someone provided with the structure and meaning.
Memorize the layout of a room, memorized the title of row of books on the nearby shelf. Think of yourself when you were younger. Get on the floor about three feet across from a friend, ask her to close your eyes, and then while gazing into her face ask her to think about the saddest moment in your life. Ask three or four of your friends to bring with them to your house three of their favorite smells. The most important requirement is that the smell must be pleasing to the people’s bringing it. Everyone tells the others what scent he or she likes the best and why. Everyone should describe what memories the scents evoke.
Find a picture of yourself taken when you were half your present age. Start writing a letter from your 14-year-old self to your 28-year-old self. Now flip it, write a letter from your 28-year-old self to your 14-year-old self. The goal of this exercise is to relive the emotions accompanied by the experience. If you are successful you uncovered memories of experience that you haven’t thought about in years. Read and after prepare that the storehouse of techniques for reliving moments from the past.
You will experience difficulty whenever you simultaneously carryout two similar language based activity but you can reduce the difficulty by varying the situation for example when listening to one communication while reading another. Reading or writing can be comfortably combined with listening to music since two different hemispheres are involved. If you are engaged in a task that involves reading or writing take a brain break by switching to something that involves patterns performed.
Crossword dice is seven dice with letters after tossing all seven dice you have once created as many words as you can by arranging the dice. On the left hand page putdown in words or images your ideas about a current topic, a topic of interest. On the right hand page explain your association in words.
Purchase a digital clock with time alarm. Set the alarm for the distance at the time unknown to you. At the instance alarm sounds take careful note of your thoughts and feelings. Try to recall the thoughts immediately preceding the alarm and the thought before that etc. With practice you will be able to track back over dozen or more associations. In doing so you will discover that most conversations are nearly casual, spontaneous, and undirected as they initially seen. Try to identify the theme as they emerged.
Speak in to a tape‑recorder all the thoughts that occurred to you over 15 minutes. Cut down and place two unrelated pictures aside each other and look at it for 10 to 15 seconds. Then write down as many linkages as possible. Practice decreases the need for concentration but it also turns off large portions of the brain.
The brain drives on novelties, try to transform even the most routine tasks into noble and challenging situation. As you toss more often you are dart but your performance falls off why after a few tosses you figuratively begin talking to yourself, you begin put too much thought and enter dialog into the throw as the result you begin to miss. Most important guideline involved not paying too much attention to your feeling.
When depressed we can dwell on the losses and courtesies encountered in our lives. It is a negative thought and attitude that unfavorably alter brain function rather than the other way around. Since the brain can keep only one thought at a time in the foreground of consciousness it is important to emphasize uplifting rather than depressing a negative pre-occupation. Put a happy face on it and smile, smile, smile. If you desire to keep mental efficiency take control of your feelings and emotions. When you are depressed you tend to dwell on unfulfilling or disappointing events from your past. Since you concentrate on the ways that are avoiding a bad outcome rather than bringing about a good one your brain will lock on to the negative.
Concentrate on your ideas and your goals rather than focusing on the bad things than could happen or on how nervous you are feeling.
Calm energy is the mood you would like to experience every moment of our life. Calm tiredness is after a good meal or the rigorous workout you feel tired but calm and relax. Tense energy is that weird feeling that natural high that comes when you are working at peak performance. Tense tiredness is that fully negative mood when you are overextended, overwhelmed, stressed out, and incapable of coping. Aim to eliminate tense tiredness while experiencing calm energy, calm tiredness, and tense energy in their proper sequence.
Even a brief 50 minutes nap can shift you from tense tiredness to either calm tiredness or calm energy. If you want to convert from calm tiredness to calm energy go out for a short walk.
The probability of finding two people who share the same birthday reaches 50% after you get the 23 people. While the human brain filters vast amounts of information, it tends to constantly focus on things and events that appear unusual. What occurs twice in a moment once in every minute and yet never in a million years.
My reading journal consists that each day I make an effort to reflect from literature sciences, read biography or the art mini session. When you finish reading, write the name of the book in pages read on the appropriate days in front of the journal. Then turn and lift the key concepts and ideas you read along with your associated impressions. Books externalize our brains.
What manual skills would I suggest? Anything that involved precise attention would be sustained fine finger control and the possibility for failure such as model airplane or learning to a care your computer or bicycle or jack straw variation of pickup sticks using color-coded sticks.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0609604457
© 2001 by Richard Restak, MD
Learn as much as possible about how your brain works. Apply your knowledge about the brain to organize ideas. Think of the brain as the creator of incredibly rich montages. Your capacity for new learning increases as you grow older. Learn about your brain’s motor programs. Take advantage of the intimate relationship of learning, memory, and intelligence. Include your memory by using a memory system. Develop your emotional memory. Think in terms of brain geography. Develop linkages associating as many things as you can. Engage in activities that stimulate extensive portions of the brain. Practice forms of mental hygiene. Turn your feeling and emotions to your advantage. Take active measures to reduce stress. Learn to work in concert with your personal bodily rhythms. Strengthen your powers of attention and concentration. Train your powers of logic. Develop the tolerance for uncertainty and ambiguity. Develop your powers of metacognition thinking about your thinking. Increase mental acuity through wide and varied reading. Heighten your sensory capacities. Learn about and experience art and music. Organize a physical exercise program that aims at brain enhancement. Cultivate fine motor control skills involving your hands. Regularly practice some form of mental relaxation. Use technology to augment your brain’s functioning. Concentrate on and act in harmony with your natural abilities. Cognition, alertness, concentration, perceptual speed, learning memory, problems solving, creativity, mental endurance, the more we exercise it the better it performs and the better we feel. An older person reduces risk of developing dementia by remaining mentally active. The Greeks feel that they generated a memory that they transformed it into a goddess - Mnemosyne Mother of the Muses. The map is not preparatory.
Ray Bradbury said “In my early 20s I floundered into a word association process in which I simply got out of bed each morning and walked to my desk and put down any word or series of words that happened along in my head. It is never too late to enhance the musical appreciation of the brain. Work on jigsaw puzzles, musical instruments, paint, draw, create art, write letters, play cards, play board games, garden, walk for exercise. Head scans reveal that thinking sad versus happy thoughts can change brain chemistry. The brain gets sharper the more it is used. New circuits are forming all the times depending on your level of mental activity or inactivity. Sequencing after you have read you may want to later summarize it for friends. Try to remain alert and aware of events around or pay attention, stay focused, executive control. Future memory refers to your ability to look forward to future goals. Increase your memory and you increase your basic intelligence.
Write down a series of numbers selected at random. Start with strings of five digits and work up to nine digits. Just quickly write down whatever comes to mind. Repeat the strings out loud. When you can repeat nine digits without error, increase the number of digits until you reach your personal outer limit. At this point return to five digits and recite the numbers backwards. You should be able to manage at least nine digits.
Next perform exercises with words instead of numbers. After spelling the word correctly in the forward direction try to spell it backward.
Select four unrelated words and write them down. Say the words for fifteen seconds then put them away. Set alarm for five minutes. When the alarms sounds try to recall the words. With each success increase the number of words in the timeframe until you get about ten words remembered over several hours. Simply register the words without any conscious attempt to form memory tags.
Paired associated learning. Write down a list of twenty words pairs, chosen at random. Study it for five minutes and then cover the first word and see how many of the associated words you can recall. Select a random three letters to the alphabet and then record all words that begin with that letter that begins, in one minute.
Records all animal names you can remember in one minute. The normal performance for anyone under 17 years old is between 17 and 24 animal names. When you finish repeat the test with the change in your strategy. Think about ways of categorizing animals. The brain operates at its best when working within a context someone provided with the structure and meaning.
Memorize the layout of a room, memorized the title of row of books on the nearby shelf. Think of yourself when you were younger. Get on the floor about three feet across from a friend, ask her to close your eyes, and then while gazing into her face ask her to think about the saddest moment in your life. Ask three or four of your friends to bring with them to your house three of their favorite smells. The most important requirement is that the smell must be pleasing to the people’s bringing it. Everyone tells the others what scent he or she likes the best and why. Everyone should describe what memories the scents evoke.
Find a picture of yourself taken when you were half your present age. Start writing a letter from your 14-year-old self to your 28-year-old self. Now flip it, write a letter from your 28-year-old self to your 14-year-old self. The goal of this exercise is to relive the emotions accompanied by the experience. If you are successful you uncovered memories of experience that you haven’t thought about in years. Read and after prepare that the storehouse of techniques for reliving moments from the past.
You will experience difficulty whenever you simultaneously carryout two similar language based activity but you can reduce the difficulty by varying the situation for example when listening to one communication while reading another. Reading or writing can be comfortably combined with listening to music since two different hemispheres are involved. If you are engaged in a task that involves reading or writing take a brain break by switching to something that involves patterns performed.
Crossword dice is seven dice with letters after tossing all seven dice you have once created as many words as you can by arranging the dice. On the left hand page putdown in words or images your ideas about a current topic, a topic of interest. On the right hand page explain your association in words.
Purchase a digital clock with time alarm. Set the alarm for the distance at the time unknown to you. At the instance alarm sounds take careful note of your thoughts and feelings. Try to recall the thoughts immediately preceding the alarm and the thought before that etc. With practice you will be able to track back over dozen or more associations. In doing so you will discover that most conversations are nearly casual, spontaneous, and undirected as they initially seen. Try to identify the theme as they emerged.
Speak in to a tape‑recorder all the thoughts that occurred to you over 15 minutes. Cut down and place two unrelated pictures aside each other and look at it for 10 to 15 seconds. Then write down as many linkages as possible. Practice decreases the need for concentration but it also turns off large portions of the brain.
The brain drives on novelties, try to transform even the most routine tasks into noble and challenging situation. As you toss more often you are dart but your performance falls off why after a few tosses you figuratively begin talking to yourself, you begin put too much thought and enter dialog into the throw as the result you begin to miss. Most important guideline involved not paying too much attention to your feeling.
When depressed we can dwell on the losses and courtesies encountered in our lives. It is a negative thought and attitude that unfavorably alter brain function rather than the other way around. Since the brain can keep only one thought at a time in the foreground of consciousness it is important to emphasize uplifting rather than depressing a negative pre-occupation. Put a happy face on it and smile, smile, smile. If you desire to keep mental efficiency take control of your feelings and emotions. When you are depressed you tend to dwell on unfulfilling or disappointing events from your past. Since you concentrate on the ways that are avoiding a bad outcome rather than bringing about a good one your brain will lock on to the negative.
Concentrate on your ideas and your goals rather than focusing on the bad things than could happen or on how nervous you are feeling.
Calm energy is the mood you would like to experience every moment of our life. Calm tiredness is after a good meal or the rigorous workout you feel tired but calm and relax. Tense energy is that weird feeling that natural high that comes when you are working at peak performance. Tense tiredness is that fully negative mood when you are overextended, overwhelmed, stressed out, and incapable of coping. Aim to eliminate tense tiredness while experiencing calm energy, calm tiredness, and tense energy in their proper sequence.
Even a brief 50 minutes nap can shift you from tense tiredness to either calm tiredness or calm energy. If you want to convert from calm tiredness to calm energy go out for a short walk.
The probability of finding two people who share the same birthday reaches 50% after you get the 23 people. While the human brain filters vast amounts of information, it tends to constantly focus on things and events that appear unusual. What occurs twice in a moment once in every minute and yet never in a million years.
My reading journal consists that each day I make an effort to reflect from literature sciences, read biography or the art mini session. When you finish reading, write the name of the book in pages read on the appropriate days in front of the journal. Then turn and lift the key concepts and ideas you read along with your associated impressions. Books externalize our brains.
What manual skills would I suggest? Anything that involved precise attention would be sustained fine finger control and the possibility for failure such as model airplane or learning to a care your computer or bicycle or jack straw variation of pickup sticks using color-coded sticks.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0609604457
Season of Life
Season of Life
© 2004 by Jeffrey Marx
There is a destiny that makes us brothers. None goes his way alone. All that we sent into the lives of others comes back into our own.
Our understanding is that sports, football is nothing more than a context to help connect with boys and teach them a clear and compelling definition of what it means to be a man. Second, to give them a code of conduct for manhood, third to help them figure out what their own unique transcended cause should or could be in this world.
Joe discussed the three components of what he termed false masculinity: athletic abilities, sexual conquest and economic success. Masculinity first and foremost is to be defined in terms of relationships. It could also be taught in terms of the capacity to love and to be loved.
If you look over your life at the end of it, the only thing that’s going to matter is the relationships that you had. What kind of father were you, what kind of husband were you, what kind of coach or teammate were you, what kind of son were you, what kind of brother were you, what kind of friend were you. Success comes in terms of relationships. The second criteria is that all the thoughts have some kind of cause, some kind of purpose in our lives that’s bigger than our own individual hopes, dreams, wants and desires. At the end of our life we are to be able to look back over it from our deathbed and know that somehow the world was a better place because we lived, we loved, we were other centered other focused.
Just look about several elements: accepting responsibilities, leading courageously and acting just on behalf of others. Joe told me that whenever he starts opening up about his father during the speech or worship, or sermon, that is when he always sees the eye start welling up and feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Let us be mindful to never shame a boy but to correct him in an uplifting and loving way.
The relationships you make here you will always have them for the rest of your life. Cherish this boys cherish this. I expect greatness out of you and the way we measure greatness is the impact you make on other people’s lives. They would make an impact by being inclusive rather than exclusive. Not feeling for someone but with someone. If you can put yourself in another man’s shoes that’s the great gift to have for a lifetime.
What can I do for you? How can I help you today? God gives each person X amount of talents. The question isn’t really how many talents you have been given; the real question is what you do with the ones you have.
Most of the fathers don’t have any grip on the definition so how could the sons possibly know what is expected of them. He hands out note cards and asks the participants to write definition of masculinity. Most men are absolutely dumbfounded by the question. They really don’t write anything at all or it ends up being the definition based on some kind of functional or material thing getting a good job or something like that. With kids it’s always spelt some kind of strength or power stuff, capacity to control.
The typical male over the age of 35 as a psychologist would say has less than one genuine friend not even one person with whom he could reveal his true self. The number one complaint I hear from most wives is my husband has no relationships with other men. The amount of pain men are in and marriages are in is absolutely incredible. Isolated and alone it ends up putting you in a situation where you are always hiding. You are always hiding truth and what you really are. You really can’t connect with anyone. Most men are not even able to connect with their wives and then if you are not in any kind of community it keeps you in a state of brokenness. After years of unhappiness together no outward fighting already controlled and well hidden in completeness. My mom and dad finally got divorced during my last year of college. Both eventually married again. Both seemed much more complete with their second spouses.
It started with Joe telling me about an exercise he does to get men talking about their fathers’. He asked them to list three words quickly that defines their dads. Joe does this to get men thinking of their fathers not only as dads but also just as ordinary men with considerable imperfection and needs of their own.
I think an awful lot of men bury their fathers without ever really knowing them. I always do a thing where I end up saying who was that masked man, kind of like lone ranger, he kind of rode in front of your room did some heroic deed and then he was gone. You know I buried my father, I did the funeral and it was three years before I had a tear.
I wouldn’t want to coach anybody in the world, anybody other than you guys, I couldn’t be proud of a group of boys than I am of you. Look at me boys, I love you and I am really proud of you, really proud. How will we act, what will we do, how will we respond, will we lose our integrity, will we lose our faith, and will we lose our humanity? Let us talk about freedom. All the biggest wars in the world are really fights about freedom. No matter what direction our conversation that relationships took, just somehow brought it back to the importance of empathy.
I think there are three kinds of dads in this world. There are dads that are totally absent, no presence whatsoever they are just gone and the percentage of them in this country is staggering. The second kind is this dad that is present but he doesn’t hear what are the more profound issues. They are the dads that invest time and money and they care about but when they die its kind of “Wow I never really knew who my dad was” and then the third kind of dad was the strategic dad. He has a clear and compelling definition of masculinity and a code of conduct for being a man. He understands the importance of whatever transcendent cause he has in his life, it’s a strategic fatherhood a clear definition. A man was created to be a son, father, husband, brother and so on. Most of us have a huge father pain somewhere deep down inside, a huge father longing, because we have never been accepted, never been in place the way we need to be. I just know when I touched the pain of my own father wound I don’t want my boys to have that.
Joe told me about a common condition known as normative male alexithymia. It means the inability to put emotions into words. By the age of two, boys are already always showing verbal signs of tuning out and suppressing their emotions. We compare and we compete but we never really connect. Seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of bother-less, plead the case of the widow. What happens when you decide to be a man built for others? As a brother you need to make sure that you focus on what your children need. Make sure that there is no one ever treated better than the girl you marry and do the things that you know you are supposed to do. But I always remember more than anything else was the escalation of diatribe emanating from the opposite side of the field. She was a screamer from beginning to end. Write the names or initials of two men in your life through whom you felt affirmation as a boy. Write the initials of one man in your life who shames you and your masculinity. Where do you find meaning, where do you find value, where you do find purpose?
I do a lot of funerals and there is nothing sadder than doing the funeral when you have to manufacture something to say about the impact the person had in order to bring any kind of comfort to the family and friends. I find that no matter how tragic the death is if that person had really connected to other people and also had cause that touched the lives of others then it’s an easy funeral to do.
You should always begin by contemplating the end. When I die when I am lying on my deathbed what I am thinking that I have left something behind me, I had a cause. Take responsibility for the choices and decisions you make. Life is only ten percent. What happens to us, ninety percent how we respond to it?
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743269748
© 2004 by Jeffrey Marx
There is a destiny that makes us brothers. None goes his way alone. All that we sent into the lives of others comes back into our own.
Our understanding is that sports, football is nothing more than a context to help connect with boys and teach them a clear and compelling definition of what it means to be a man. Second, to give them a code of conduct for manhood, third to help them figure out what their own unique transcended cause should or could be in this world.
Joe discussed the three components of what he termed false masculinity: athletic abilities, sexual conquest and economic success. Masculinity first and foremost is to be defined in terms of relationships. It could also be taught in terms of the capacity to love and to be loved.
If you look over your life at the end of it, the only thing that’s going to matter is the relationships that you had. What kind of father were you, what kind of husband were you, what kind of coach or teammate were you, what kind of son were you, what kind of brother were you, what kind of friend were you. Success comes in terms of relationships. The second criteria is that all the thoughts have some kind of cause, some kind of purpose in our lives that’s bigger than our own individual hopes, dreams, wants and desires. At the end of our life we are to be able to look back over it from our deathbed and know that somehow the world was a better place because we lived, we loved, we were other centered other focused.
Just look about several elements: accepting responsibilities, leading courageously and acting just on behalf of others. Joe told me that whenever he starts opening up about his father during the speech or worship, or sermon, that is when he always sees the eye start welling up and feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Let us be mindful to never shame a boy but to correct him in an uplifting and loving way.
The relationships you make here you will always have them for the rest of your life. Cherish this boys cherish this. I expect greatness out of you and the way we measure greatness is the impact you make on other people’s lives. They would make an impact by being inclusive rather than exclusive. Not feeling for someone but with someone. If you can put yourself in another man’s shoes that’s the great gift to have for a lifetime.
What can I do for you? How can I help you today? God gives each person X amount of talents. The question isn’t really how many talents you have been given; the real question is what you do with the ones you have.
Most of the fathers don’t have any grip on the definition so how could the sons possibly know what is expected of them. He hands out note cards and asks the participants to write definition of masculinity. Most men are absolutely dumbfounded by the question. They really don’t write anything at all or it ends up being the definition based on some kind of functional or material thing getting a good job or something like that. With kids it’s always spelt some kind of strength or power stuff, capacity to control.
The typical male over the age of 35 as a psychologist would say has less than one genuine friend not even one person with whom he could reveal his true self. The number one complaint I hear from most wives is my husband has no relationships with other men. The amount of pain men are in and marriages are in is absolutely incredible. Isolated and alone it ends up putting you in a situation where you are always hiding. You are always hiding truth and what you really are. You really can’t connect with anyone. Most men are not even able to connect with their wives and then if you are not in any kind of community it keeps you in a state of brokenness. After years of unhappiness together no outward fighting already controlled and well hidden in completeness. My mom and dad finally got divorced during my last year of college. Both eventually married again. Both seemed much more complete with their second spouses.
It started with Joe telling me about an exercise he does to get men talking about their fathers’. He asked them to list three words quickly that defines their dads. Joe does this to get men thinking of their fathers not only as dads but also just as ordinary men with considerable imperfection and needs of their own.
I think an awful lot of men bury their fathers without ever really knowing them. I always do a thing where I end up saying who was that masked man, kind of like lone ranger, he kind of rode in front of your room did some heroic deed and then he was gone. You know I buried my father, I did the funeral and it was three years before I had a tear.
I wouldn’t want to coach anybody in the world, anybody other than you guys, I couldn’t be proud of a group of boys than I am of you. Look at me boys, I love you and I am really proud of you, really proud. How will we act, what will we do, how will we respond, will we lose our integrity, will we lose our faith, and will we lose our humanity? Let us talk about freedom. All the biggest wars in the world are really fights about freedom. No matter what direction our conversation that relationships took, just somehow brought it back to the importance of empathy.
I think there are three kinds of dads in this world. There are dads that are totally absent, no presence whatsoever they are just gone and the percentage of them in this country is staggering. The second kind is this dad that is present but he doesn’t hear what are the more profound issues. They are the dads that invest time and money and they care about but when they die its kind of “Wow I never really knew who my dad was” and then the third kind of dad was the strategic dad. He has a clear and compelling definition of masculinity and a code of conduct for being a man. He understands the importance of whatever transcendent cause he has in his life, it’s a strategic fatherhood a clear definition. A man was created to be a son, father, husband, brother and so on. Most of us have a huge father pain somewhere deep down inside, a huge father longing, because we have never been accepted, never been in place the way we need to be. I just know when I touched the pain of my own father wound I don’t want my boys to have that.
Joe told me about a common condition known as normative male alexithymia. It means the inability to put emotions into words. By the age of two, boys are already always showing verbal signs of tuning out and suppressing their emotions. We compare and we compete but we never really connect. Seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of bother-less, plead the case of the widow. What happens when you decide to be a man built for others? As a brother you need to make sure that you focus on what your children need. Make sure that there is no one ever treated better than the girl you marry and do the things that you know you are supposed to do. But I always remember more than anything else was the escalation of diatribe emanating from the opposite side of the field. She was a screamer from beginning to end. Write the names or initials of two men in your life through whom you felt affirmation as a boy. Write the initials of one man in your life who shames you and your masculinity. Where do you find meaning, where do you find value, where you do find purpose?
I do a lot of funerals and there is nothing sadder than doing the funeral when you have to manufacture something to say about the impact the person had in order to bring any kind of comfort to the family and friends. I find that no matter how tragic the death is if that person had really connected to other people and also had cause that touched the lives of others then it’s an easy funeral to do.
You should always begin by contemplating the end. When I die when I am lying on my deathbed what I am thinking that I have left something behind me, I had a cause. Take responsibility for the choices and decisions you make. Life is only ten percent. What happens to us, ninety percent how we respond to it?
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743269748
Dads and Daughters
Dads and Daughters
© 2002 by Joe Kelly
Michael created the national non-profit called Dads and Daughters. Also a newsletter called New Moon Network.
Dads have the following feelings about raising girls. We want to protect our daughter. We want our daughter to be attractive but not to physically and sexually attract anyone. We are baffled by our daughter’s messy emotion. We want to connect with her so that we become as special in her life as she has been ours. We want to build her up. We want to communicate but we don’t know when or where to begin talking with her about sexuality, body image, self force, carriers, etc.
We can’t seem to hit the right note in listening so she will talk or in talking so she will listen. We are proud of what she accomplishes independently. Growing up we learned that a father’s primary role is to provide for his family. But too many of us equate the key word provide with our wallets. Younger fathers seemed to be doing more second shift work than the older dads but very few of us hold much child rearing duty as the mothers of our children do. Sometimes if we try to do more mothers resist criticizing how we handle things. The silence of our dads - how much second shift work did your father do? How much did he tell you about how to be a father and why it matters so much - ditto. If your dad looked like mine he said little to you about fatherhood. He probably showed by example that a father works to bring in money and is the final judge when it comes down to laying down the law at home.
I really think the fundamental job of being a parent is just being present. A daughter’s childhood is so fascinating that we seldom lack for motivations to be part of it. That’s true even if we live away from our daughter. If we are willing to look there are ways to be a part of her. When we read books we just totally quit. We are in our own separate world together. We don’t really pay attention to the outside for the two or three days we are together. Up until then I was worried that with the divorce I would lose that relationship. It really starts something for me in my development as a better father.
Researching for the development of growth shows that the norm for growth is to be loud, opinionated and physically confident until age 12 or so. But then a typical girl will begin to silence her voice and herself. They turn into a soft-spoken passive 13-year-old and answers of “I don’t know” to even the most basic questions. A girl feels good about herself when she is loud and bold. The best way of doing this is to actively listen to our daughters. The thing I loved most is the way I can tell them things that normal parents would get really upset about and they are subsequently laid back about it. There is a reason why I have twice as many years as I do now. Don’t interrupt her talk more than she does. She is different from me, respect the difference.
Our daughters come to talk to us because we are important to them not necessarily because they want us to fix their problem. In our conversations I could ask them what they wanted me to do. Do you want my advice or ideas or you just want me to listen. How well am I doing as my daughter’s father?
I can name her three best friends often sometimes or hardly ever 3.2.1. I know my daughter’s goals. I am physically active with my daughter. I make dinner for my family. I talk with my daughter about managing money. I spend half hour one on one with my daughter doing something we both enjoy. I talk to other’s fathers about raising kids. I talk to other fathers about raising daughters. I would restrict her activities more than I would a son. I talk to my daughter about advertising. I tell my daughter what her strengths are. I comment on daughter’s weight. I know what school projects she is working on. I protest negative immediate portrayals of girls. I participate in parenting organization. I yell at my daughter’s mother. I suggest my daughter go on a diet. I object when other suggests that she go on a diet. I converse with my daughter and she does most of the talking. I know what my daughter is concerned about today. I know how many students ever been officers at her school are girls. I have read her school’s sexual harassment policy. I hope boys learn to respect girls. I tell my daughter stories about my own youth.
In the study of children aged 8 to 10, half the girls said that they were dissatisfied with their size. One out of every four college-aged women engages in disorders eating behaviors like binging and purging. Five to ten million women and girls have active destructive eating disorders. During Post Victorian girls used their diaries for self-reflection usually writing about improving their character and increasing their charitable contribution to the community. Now girls today make their bodies into projects rather than their lives into projects. Has your self-confidence at the start of a workday ever been affected by how successfully you had applied your make up that morning?
Much more significant is our daughter’s right and ability to set their own standards and directions and not the counsel that’s imposed by others. Investing an overabundance of time and money and pursuit of the latest fashion tab only plays into the hands of marketers willing to sacrifice the girl’s confidence in order to make a buck. In addition when the trust is nurtured our daughters are more open to fatherly wisdom and experiences we have to share.
Society is always telling our daughters they are not beautiful. It is a commitment upon us to instill in our daughters the deepest sense that they are beautiful. In so doing we need to overcome our own socialization as males. Girls with poor body image reported being teased by the family members. Girls with poor self esteem tended to compare themselves with others who had some element of beauty attached to them. Up to 10% of the nation’s young women are diagnosed with anorexia bulimia or other disorders. Twenty years ago models weighed 8% less then the average women today they weigh 23% less. Three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and shame. The average young adolescent watches three to four hours of TV per day. One out of every four commercials sends some sort of attractive message. Fathers can teach daughters the most important lessons in seemingly off hand ways. I told them things like “Do you see the person on the cover of this magazine? Do you know that very few people in this world look like this?” Conversely you can consistently point out characteristics you find appealing especially when they belie the cultural standard of female perfection. Her grandmother’s lovely last lines the distinctive notes on the teacher or the great quadriceps of the track star. My dad makes me very competitive in everything. It is really good thing since I loved sport. Don’t quit, you can’t just quit because you are tired.
Among older teens those who engaged in sports and other physical activities are least likely to drop out of school, get pregnant, etc. In the pool for a while I am carrying them around and throwing them and they are holding onto me and that won’t be for much longer either. I want that time with them. We come up with all these goofy games in the pool. It’s a real fun, silly times, it’s a chance for me to hold my kids and still play with them at the same time. The underlying message girls get is that they have to make their bodies into projects in order to win a male’s attention and affection.
Agreement entered into in which dad and daughter agreed to spend one hour per week playing scrabble for the next three months. Have your daughter grow her own family tree using pictures or images of those many members of the family as the two of you can find. If she is artistic she can draw or paint the tree. Keep the finished family tree mirror hanged, or consider framing it as a loving reminder of where the freckles grow and dimple chin come from. The school cultural was not an entirely stage fright to express herself.
I want to teach you that happiness flows from inside her mind that it has nothing to do with the outside world at all. In her book Can’t Buy My Love Dr. Kilbourne explains how sexualized appearance forced messages and fused advertising for the most innocuous products like shoes and stereo. In this and many other ads you will see only part of the girl’s or woman’s body often her legs, torso and/or breasts missing off her head almost her brain, hands tools for her balance and/or feet a method for moving herself where she wants to go. This portrayal disembodied female body parts reinforces the notion that we should view female body as pieces.
The magazines are Seventeen YM, Cosmo girl, Teen People. Girls often start reading these magazines around age 10. The idea behind Cosmo girl magazine’s articles and ads is to make readers feel insecure about themselves how they look and how they act. Creating that insecurity creates more women consumers. Last summer we turned the TV off and we will do it again this summer. But what that means is when the TV is off the parents work harder so whether it’s over a card game or during a walk we get into some pretty interesting family discussions. Another alternative for TV are quality kids’ magazines like Cricket, Cobblestone, American Girl, and New Moon. Let your daughter know what your values are and that you value her for who she is and not for her resemblance to some silly stereotypes.
When you expose your daughter to other forms of culture, theater, concerts, exhibits you help her learn that creating her own video song or dance as more fulfilling than fun than sitting at home watching MTV. When you volunteer with your daughter she learns that active participation along with her enthusiasm and energy can help make her world a better place. When you travel with your daughter she learns that soon touching and smelling the national park or big city is far more often than magazines, photographs or movie can be.
Have your daughter list 10 famous women without naming models, rock stars or movie stars. Here are some good movies: Fly Away Home, Crouching Tiger, Antonio’s Line, Joy Luck Club, Contact, The River Wild, What’s Love Got To Do With It, Dead Man Walking, The Hiding Place, Fargo, The Borrowers, Sister Act, Mermaids, Princess Caraboo, Driving in Cars with Boys. When we erupt we forget that a key lesson of childhood is learning to cope with hearts. My outbursts only undermine my girl’s ability to learn that lesson. Overprotection is inadequate to keep our daughters safe and it harms the fundamental trust between daughter and father. Do your daughter and yourself a favor and let what comes out at this hour.
Out of 300 teen girls surveyed 28% said they have been pushed into having sex against their will. In many cases girls are not talking about these devastating incidents to parents. I feel like that’s a pretty big bit of information, a gift relief that I can give her and that nobody else can. I will be able to tell her what boys at her age are thinking. That’s because I want you to be able to talk to me about them. I used to be one, I can tell you things about them you would never guess. Dad, tell me about the first time you ever kissed a girl. As long as you raised her with love and attention then the old right versus wrong shall be fine.
Until we can trust girls to safely yes to their sexuality and desire we have not fully enabled them to say no to sexual manipulation, abuse and irresponsibility. The best thing I have come up with is to treat her as I want her boyfriend or husband to treat her. Most likely if she has a good relationship with me, she will try to find the same thing in a companion, the teaching that would help her choose a loving, tender, sincere, caring and kind companion starts now. Clearly she needs her space more now so I will knock before I enter her room. If I am not shocked by excessive makeup or something like that she has to go to tattoos. I play it up in a joking kind of way.
Place honesty first, listen without criticism, say you are sorry, share a story, make a friendship bracelet, share your values, provide a more framework, talk early and often about sex and be specific, monitor and supervise, know her friends and families. Rather seeking separation, girls seek connection. Your daughter may still sometimes seek your lap or the cuddle spot besides you on the couch as a comforting and loving place. There are other times she will push you away. She might say no when you ask her for a hug or draws her face away when you are leaving for a shift. I have only found two books that focus directly on girls; taking charge of my mind and body and refuse to use the girl types of drugs and alcohol. 20% of 8th graders say they smoked once in the past month. By 12th grade 25% smoke daily. Females are three times more likely to develop lung cancer than males if they smoke the same amount. After all beer and cigarette ads never say cigarettes bring you cancer and booze can make you drunk and more likely to be raised.
I agree to provide for your safe sober transportation home if you are ever in a situation that threatens your safety and to defer discussion about that situation until a time when we can both discuss the issues in a common caring manner. The communication has to start early because the typical adolescent case first drinks at age 13. If your daughter’s future appears bright to her that significantly increases the likelihood that she will avoid harm upon herself by way of unsafe sex or drugs. Rehearse difficult situations with your daughter and give her words to say when confronted by peer pressure. Have a reliable system to leave messages for each other either by phone or on a message board at home, know where she is at all times. Know her friends and interact with them whenever you have an opportunity. Know her plans for the next day know what she is doing after school and curb the amount of time she spends without supervision, limit her time on the internet.
When she was 10 or 12 we had father daughter conversation where I told her that she could do anything she wanted to with one exception. I love doing the science projects with her encouraging her to think about doing things on the computer, I think my father has always given me a hunger for knowledge. He thought me that no matter how far you go you can always a step further in learning. He is taught me to look below the surface of people in situations and not just take a first glimpse or make a judgment. I think that helps me a lot as I have been traveling a lot around the world and meeting new people.
From age 10 on, my daughters handle their own income and expenses. Allowance, babysitting earnings, gift money wages, quarter funds it all went into the checking account. Nancy and I no longer paid for amusements or gifts for friends or family. We give them a clothing allowance by age 12 and put them in charge. Even though they were young the girls quickly adapted to the arrangement. They didn’t spend much on themselves; they preferred to wait for birthdays to get close from grandparents and other relatives, a smart strategy. Their only complaint was a weird look sales person gave when a 12-year-old pulled out her checkbook. Girls who created the book New Moon Money came up with dozens of examples like a simple budget spreadsheet. She is my connection to eternity. Ten tips for dads of daughters - listen to girls, encourage your strength and celebrate her savvy, however be strong, smart and bold respect her uniqueness, get physical active with her, get involved in my daughter’s school, get involved in my daughter’s activities, help make the world better for girls, take my daughter to work with me, support positive alternative media for growth, talk to other fathers.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0767908333
© 2002 by Joe Kelly
Michael created the national non-profit called Dads and Daughters. Also a newsletter called New Moon Network.
Dads have the following feelings about raising girls. We want to protect our daughter. We want our daughter to be attractive but not to physically and sexually attract anyone. We are baffled by our daughter’s messy emotion. We want to connect with her so that we become as special in her life as she has been ours. We want to build her up. We want to communicate but we don’t know when or where to begin talking with her about sexuality, body image, self force, carriers, etc.
We can’t seem to hit the right note in listening so she will talk or in talking so she will listen. We are proud of what she accomplishes independently. Growing up we learned that a father’s primary role is to provide for his family. But too many of us equate the key word provide with our wallets. Younger fathers seemed to be doing more second shift work than the older dads but very few of us hold much child rearing duty as the mothers of our children do. Sometimes if we try to do more mothers resist criticizing how we handle things. The silence of our dads - how much second shift work did your father do? How much did he tell you about how to be a father and why it matters so much - ditto. If your dad looked like mine he said little to you about fatherhood. He probably showed by example that a father works to bring in money and is the final judge when it comes down to laying down the law at home.
I really think the fundamental job of being a parent is just being present. A daughter’s childhood is so fascinating that we seldom lack for motivations to be part of it. That’s true even if we live away from our daughter. If we are willing to look there are ways to be a part of her. When we read books we just totally quit. We are in our own separate world together. We don’t really pay attention to the outside for the two or three days we are together. Up until then I was worried that with the divorce I would lose that relationship. It really starts something for me in my development as a better father.
Researching for the development of growth shows that the norm for growth is to be loud, opinionated and physically confident until age 12 or so. But then a typical girl will begin to silence her voice and herself. They turn into a soft-spoken passive 13-year-old and answers of “I don’t know” to even the most basic questions. A girl feels good about herself when she is loud and bold. The best way of doing this is to actively listen to our daughters. The thing I loved most is the way I can tell them things that normal parents would get really upset about and they are subsequently laid back about it. There is a reason why I have twice as many years as I do now. Don’t interrupt her talk more than she does. She is different from me, respect the difference.
Our daughters come to talk to us because we are important to them not necessarily because they want us to fix their problem. In our conversations I could ask them what they wanted me to do. Do you want my advice or ideas or you just want me to listen. How well am I doing as my daughter’s father?
I can name her three best friends often sometimes or hardly ever 3.2.1. I know my daughter’s goals. I am physically active with my daughter. I make dinner for my family. I talk with my daughter about managing money. I spend half hour one on one with my daughter doing something we both enjoy. I talk to other’s fathers about raising kids. I talk to other fathers about raising daughters. I would restrict her activities more than I would a son. I talk to my daughter about advertising. I tell my daughter what her strengths are. I comment on daughter’s weight. I know what school projects she is working on. I protest negative immediate portrayals of girls. I participate in parenting organization. I yell at my daughter’s mother. I suggest my daughter go on a diet. I object when other suggests that she go on a diet. I converse with my daughter and she does most of the talking. I know what my daughter is concerned about today. I know how many students ever been officers at her school are girls. I have read her school’s sexual harassment policy. I hope boys learn to respect girls. I tell my daughter stories about my own youth.
In the study of children aged 8 to 10, half the girls said that they were dissatisfied with their size. One out of every four college-aged women engages in disorders eating behaviors like binging and purging. Five to ten million women and girls have active destructive eating disorders. During Post Victorian girls used their diaries for self-reflection usually writing about improving their character and increasing their charitable contribution to the community. Now girls today make their bodies into projects rather than their lives into projects. Has your self-confidence at the start of a workday ever been affected by how successfully you had applied your make up that morning?
Much more significant is our daughter’s right and ability to set their own standards and directions and not the counsel that’s imposed by others. Investing an overabundance of time and money and pursuit of the latest fashion tab only plays into the hands of marketers willing to sacrifice the girl’s confidence in order to make a buck. In addition when the trust is nurtured our daughters are more open to fatherly wisdom and experiences we have to share.
Society is always telling our daughters they are not beautiful. It is a commitment upon us to instill in our daughters the deepest sense that they are beautiful. In so doing we need to overcome our own socialization as males. Girls with poor body image reported being teased by the family members. Girls with poor self esteem tended to compare themselves with others who had some element of beauty attached to them. Up to 10% of the nation’s young women are diagnosed with anorexia bulimia or other disorders. Twenty years ago models weighed 8% less then the average women today they weigh 23% less. Three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and shame. The average young adolescent watches three to four hours of TV per day. One out of every four commercials sends some sort of attractive message. Fathers can teach daughters the most important lessons in seemingly off hand ways. I told them things like “Do you see the person on the cover of this magazine? Do you know that very few people in this world look like this?” Conversely you can consistently point out characteristics you find appealing especially when they belie the cultural standard of female perfection. Her grandmother’s lovely last lines the distinctive notes on the teacher or the great quadriceps of the track star. My dad makes me very competitive in everything. It is really good thing since I loved sport. Don’t quit, you can’t just quit because you are tired.
Among older teens those who engaged in sports and other physical activities are least likely to drop out of school, get pregnant, etc. In the pool for a while I am carrying them around and throwing them and they are holding onto me and that won’t be for much longer either. I want that time with them. We come up with all these goofy games in the pool. It’s a real fun, silly times, it’s a chance for me to hold my kids and still play with them at the same time. The underlying message girls get is that they have to make their bodies into projects in order to win a male’s attention and affection.
Agreement entered into in which dad and daughter agreed to spend one hour per week playing scrabble for the next three months. Have your daughter grow her own family tree using pictures or images of those many members of the family as the two of you can find. If she is artistic she can draw or paint the tree. Keep the finished family tree mirror hanged, or consider framing it as a loving reminder of where the freckles grow and dimple chin come from. The school cultural was not an entirely stage fright to express herself.
I want to teach you that happiness flows from inside her mind that it has nothing to do with the outside world at all. In her book Can’t Buy My Love Dr. Kilbourne explains how sexualized appearance forced messages and fused advertising for the most innocuous products like shoes and stereo. In this and many other ads you will see only part of the girl’s or woman’s body often her legs, torso and/or breasts missing off her head almost her brain, hands tools for her balance and/or feet a method for moving herself where she wants to go. This portrayal disembodied female body parts reinforces the notion that we should view female body as pieces.
The magazines are Seventeen YM, Cosmo girl, Teen People. Girls often start reading these magazines around age 10. The idea behind Cosmo girl magazine’s articles and ads is to make readers feel insecure about themselves how they look and how they act. Creating that insecurity creates more women consumers. Last summer we turned the TV off and we will do it again this summer. But what that means is when the TV is off the parents work harder so whether it’s over a card game or during a walk we get into some pretty interesting family discussions. Another alternative for TV are quality kids’ magazines like Cricket, Cobblestone, American Girl, and New Moon. Let your daughter know what your values are and that you value her for who she is and not for her resemblance to some silly stereotypes.
When you expose your daughter to other forms of culture, theater, concerts, exhibits you help her learn that creating her own video song or dance as more fulfilling than fun than sitting at home watching MTV. When you volunteer with your daughter she learns that active participation along with her enthusiasm and energy can help make her world a better place. When you travel with your daughter she learns that soon touching and smelling the national park or big city is far more often than magazines, photographs or movie can be.
Have your daughter list 10 famous women without naming models, rock stars or movie stars. Here are some good movies: Fly Away Home, Crouching Tiger, Antonio’s Line, Joy Luck Club, Contact, The River Wild, What’s Love Got To Do With It, Dead Man Walking, The Hiding Place, Fargo, The Borrowers, Sister Act, Mermaids, Princess Caraboo, Driving in Cars with Boys. When we erupt we forget that a key lesson of childhood is learning to cope with hearts. My outbursts only undermine my girl’s ability to learn that lesson. Overprotection is inadequate to keep our daughters safe and it harms the fundamental trust between daughter and father. Do your daughter and yourself a favor and let what comes out at this hour.
Out of 300 teen girls surveyed 28% said they have been pushed into having sex against their will. In many cases girls are not talking about these devastating incidents to parents. I feel like that’s a pretty big bit of information, a gift relief that I can give her and that nobody else can. I will be able to tell her what boys at her age are thinking. That’s because I want you to be able to talk to me about them. I used to be one, I can tell you things about them you would never guess. Dad, tell me about the first time you ever kissed a girl. As long as you raised her with love and attention then the old right versus wrong shall be fine.
Until we can trust girls to safely yes to their sexuality and desire we have not fully enabled them to say no to sexual manipulation, abuse and irresponsibility. The best thing I have come up with is to treat her as I want her boyfriend or husband to treat her. Most likely if she has a good relationship with me, she will try to find the same thing in a companion, the teaching that would help her choose a loving, tender, sincere, caring and kind companion starts now. Clearly she needs her space more now so I will knock before I enter her room. If I am not shocked by excessive makeup or something like that she has to go to tattoos. I play it up in a joking kind of way.
Place honesty first, listen without criticism, say you are sorry, share a story, make a friendship bracelet, share your values, provide a more framework, talk early and often about sex and be specific, monitor and supervise, know her friends and families. Rather seeking separation, girls seek connection. Your daughter may still sometimes seek your lap or the cuddle spot besides you on the couch as a comforting and loving place. There are other times she will push you away. She might say no when you ask her for a hug or draws her face away when you are leaving for a shift. I have only found two books that focus directly on girls; taking charge of my mind and body and refuse to use the girl types of drugs and alcohol. 20% of 8th graders say they smoked once in the past month. By 12th grade 25% smoke daily. Females are three times more likely to develop lung cancer than males if they smoke the same amount. After all beer and cigarette ads never say cigarettes bring you cancer and booze can make you drunk and more likely to be raised.
I agree to provide for your safe sober transportation home if you are ever in a situation that threatens your safety and to defer discussion about that situation until a time when we can both discuss the issues in a common caring manner. The communication has to start early because the typical adolescent case first drinks at age 13. If your daughter’s future appears bright to her that significantly increases the likelihood that she will avoid harm upon herself by way of unsafe sex or drugs. Rehearse difficult situations with your daughter and give her words to say when confronted by peer pressure. Have a reliable system to leave messages for each other either by phone or on a message board at home, know where she is at all times. Know her friends and interact with them whenever you have an opportunity. Know her plans for the next day know what she is doing after school and curb the amount of time she spends without supervision, limit her time on the internet.
When she was 10 or 12 we had father daughter conversation where I told her that she could do anything she wanted to with one exception. I love doing the science projects with her encouraging her to think about doing things on the computer, I think my father has always given me a hunger for knowledge. He thought me that no matter how far you go you can always a step further in learning. He is taught me to look below the surface of people in situations and not just take a first glimpse or make a judgment. I think that helps me a lot as I have been traveling a lot around the world and meeting new people.
From age 10 on, my daughters handle their own income and expenses. Allowance, babysitting earnings, gift money wages, quarter funds it all went into the checking account. Nancy and I no longer paid for amusements or gifts for friends or family. We give them a clothing allowance by age 12 and put them in charge. Even though they were young the girls quickly adapted to the arrangement. They didn’t spend much on themselves; they preferred to wait for birthdays to get close from grandparents and other relatives, a smart strategy. Their only complaint was a weird look sales person gave when a 12-year-old pulled out her checkbook. Girls who created the book New Moon Money came up with dozens of examples like a simple budget spreadsheet. She is my connection to eternity. Ten tips for dads of daughters - listen to girls, encourage your strength and celebrate her savvy, however be strong, smart and bold respect her uniqueness, get physical active with her, get involved in my daughter’s school, get involved in my daughter’s activities, help make the world better for girls, take my daughter to work with me, support positive alternative media for growth, talk to other fathers.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0767908333
The Biology of Success
The Biology of Success
© 2000 by Bob Arnot
Create mental energy, create positive thought. Most of successful people have high positive effects most of the time. Life’s biggest winners get knocked down again and again but they firmly and mentally believe they can win. Energy peaks around nine to eleven in the morning and falls with the course of day. While your biological clocks which is alerting on and off, you also have the power to enhance this alertness. You seek exciting pursuits that will activate this alertness switch. You can use environmental light, temperature, cool dry air, aroma such as peppermint.
The optimal temperature for mental work is 70 degrees. Also consider an ionizer, which improves air quality in your indoor space. Rosemary helps improve concentration and aids in overcoming learning difficulties. In Japan lemon essence is often transmitted through the ventilation system. Peppermint, lemon, lemongrass, Mandarin orange, eucalyptus, rosemary are all good for energizers. Clutter: eliminate clutter, keep electrical and computer cable out of sight. Use mirrors to make your office look larger. Hand paintings where can see them. Choose large plants for your office. Music has remarkable property that can propel you toward success. Recall the grand and noble thoughts that seem to flow while you were listening to great symphony. Music is genius. Find music that matches your current mood. Isomotic means same mood and refers the principle of beginning treatment by matching the existing mood and then the music that would relax your desired mood at the end.
You can improve the alertness by eating protein. Too many carbohydrates and tryptophan wins the competition. Feed forward eating. Use higher protein concentration in the morning and for lunch. Use protein in the evening only if you have to be sharp and alert. Fish oil, include fish in the diet. Have a high protein start as soon as you are out of bed and al least 20 minutes before you eat the rest of your breakfast. Yogurt, fish, skimmed milk, soya milk, soya protein mixed with eggs.
After showering and dressing eat a main breakfast. High fiber serial, oatmeal, yogurt and high a fiber fruit. Try non-caffeinated tea as an energizing morning drink. Black tea or gray contains essence of bergamot which is an anti depressant. Don’t eat high fat food such as bacon, or sausages or half hash brown. Eat fruit for lunch snack for morning snack. Lunch concentrate on high protein lunch with tuna, turkey chicken greenly leafy vegetables and legumes with foliage, beans, drink lots of water. The most practical high performance work diet is pretty close to a caveman’s diet, high in proteins, fruits and vegetables with few grains for the working day.
Play should rejuvenate the brain allowing us to reach for fresh new ideas. Life should deliver some form of relation, take up new challenges, play Walter Mitty, learn things you have never done before, things you only dreamed of. Find someone who makes you feel good about yourself. I find talented thought for individualized instructions do wonderful psychotherapy.
I resolve to have self-discipline to be the very best I could be. The harder the better. Exercise is the magic bullet for creating mental energy. I find vigorous exercise far more effective than current exercise for lowering my tension level for the rest of the day. The best stress busting routines in one set make you feel hard in terms are with moderate resistance with 12 to 18 repetitions. Be sure sweep the last two reps that you get a real burn. Only 12% of us are exercising at levels suggested by experts.
Appearance creates self-esteem which breeds success. In life there are very few things that we have real control over; one of them is our appearance. Set a ritual, if you create too much chaos in your life you can concentrate on being really creative in your work. To be truly successful you must follow a ritual. Rituals are the foundations of success. Be doing your everyday routine so you can be wildly created in your work. Routine simplify, clarify and create orders symmetry and familiarity in chaos and high stress.
I tried to be extraordinarily organized and tried to compartmentalize my time into dictation, meetings, phone calls, naps, relaxation and meals. Don’t waste your most precious mental energy on routine phone calls. The aim of strategically placing your stats is to give yourself stunning mental energy. I use a single computer for everything. It’s a Mac laptop and I carry it nearly everywhere. I rely on a nationwide one-rate phone. I can get text or voicemail messengers sent to it, receive paging and route all my calls.
World-class ritual produces world-class performance. Routing, anchoring and securing time. Start by establishing great sleep rituals and then add exercise and eating. You will notice that even a small change will dramatically improve your prime time creative activity. For most people it’s a utmost importance to create the best possible routines for the morning and the early parts of the day. Launching the day is like a launching a missile. If you launch the day badly then the entire day goes badly. By fixing notes and planning in advance with ease your will become vastly more efficient. Michael Crichton would pick one kind of lunch to eat everyday during the month he is writing a novel.
Set aside prime time as a ritual time to do your best work in a space specifically set aside for prime time. If you are frequent traveler take your time to ritualize your departure. Don’t make it a fresh adventure each time out the door. Leave the much bigger buffer then you needs make a plain car or bus. Preserve mental capital. Pathologically high-tension levels kill mental energy. People are robbed of many creative moments because they can’t concentrate long enough.
Calm energy is the ideal need for superior mental performance. There are four categories of mood, calm energy, calm tiredness, tense energy, and tense tiredness. Worry increases the risk of heart attack, avoids sleep, alcohol, caffeine, anger. Aspartame is linked to afternoon depression anxiety and truly foul mood. Craving for caffeine is usually a symptom of too little sleep or poor quality sleep, big meals really do kill good mood. Plan logically a successful day. Make it a great day. Match activities to fit your biological rhythm. Synchronize your most creative time with a creative activity. Design your day by building a fortress around the time when you know you are most productive and leading out all peripheral activity. Drink up your protein beverage just after rising. Exercise, play motivational music, eat uncooked oatmeal, socialize in the morning.
8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. is prime time activity thus promoting your life career goal. Take caffeine without sugar in the morning. Play energetic and firing music. Extend your morning peak as long as possible or eating lunch that’s why big breakfast is so important for making it all last.
2:00 to 3:30 p.m. follow through on morning initiatives.
3:30 to 5:00 take 15-minute nap, take a 10 minute walk to revive yourself. Stack positive activity. Early evening eat a very small dinner for peak performance. Most of us pour ourselves with waging the actual number of productive hours we have a day.
Better to have three very strong creative hours then spend 12 hours going to work. Rise at the exact same time every morning. Sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays is completely out of whack until mid-week. Associate your room with rest rather than work or quarrel. Create and maintain a bedtime ritual, for example spend a few minute reading for pleasure every night. Schedule less taxing activities for the post lunch dip; take a power nap. Create positive thought, be an optimist every movement, nature strength, learn emotional broadcasting, optimist are the most skillful manipulators of reality.
Jonas Salk said “if I were a young scientist today, I would still do immunization. But instead of immunizing kids physically, I would do it psychologically. I see these psychologically immunized kids could then fight off mental and physical illness better. Fights to stay in the present don’t let the future ruin the present. Don’t get dragged into the past. Broadcast winning emotions to build a winning a team around you. The heart of emotional broadcasting is best are not what you say but the emotional changes you affect on those around you that count. The next time you write down a list of priorities associate strong positive emotions with them.
When you make others feel better they will make you feel better, you are mobilizing energy. Joe Gerard who is the best card salesmen ever simply sent cards on people’s birthdays and said the same thing “I like you”. What is the dominant emotion I broadcast, emotional support is extremely important for everyone who makes a difference and how will people can deal with traumatic situation. Life’s big winners see the situation as they envision it and they live it. Visualize in the early evening and after work and play some great music. Good food to eat: soy beans, lentils, green beans, skimmed milk, chic peas, apple, pear, all brands, non–fat vanilla yogurt, egg white, non fat cottage cheese, tuna, chicken breast, turkey breast, reduced fat cheese, Mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese, ground beef with more calories.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0316051616
© 2000 by Bob Arnot
Create mental energy, create positive thought. Most of successful people have high positive effects most of the time. Life’s biggest winners get knocked down again and again but they firmly and mentally believe they can win. Energy peaks around nine to eleven in the morning and falls with the course of day. While your biological clocks which is alerting on and off, you also have the power to enhance this alertness. You seek exciting pursuits that will activate this alertness switch. You can use environmental light, temperature, cool dry air, aroma such as peppermint.
The optimal temperature for mental work is 70 degrees. Also consider an ionizer, which improves air quality in your indoor space. Rosemary helps improve concentration and aids in overcoming learning difficulties. In Japan lemon essence is often transmitted through the ventilation system. Peppermint, lemon, lemongrass, Mandarin orange, eucalyptus, rosemary are all good for energizers. Clutter: eliminate clutter, keep electrical and computer cable out of sight. Use mirrors to make your office look larger. Hand paintings where can see them. Choose large plants for your office. Music has remarkable property that can propel you toward success. Recall the grand and noble thoughts that seem to flow while you were listening to great symphony. Music is genius. Find music that matches your current mood. Isomotic means same mood and refers the principle of beginning treatment by matching the existing mood and then the music that would relax your desired mood at the end.
You can improve the alertness by eating protein. Too many carbohydrates and tryptophan wins the competition. Feed forward eating. Use higher protein concentration in the morning and for lunch. Use protein in the evening only if you have to be sharp and alert. Fish oil, include fish in the diet. Have a high protein start as soon as you are out of bed and al least 20 minutes before you eat the rest of your breakfast. Yogurt, fish, skimmed milk, soya milk, soya protein mixed with eggs.
After showering and dressing eat a main breakfast. High fiber serial, oatmeal, yogurt and high a fiber fruit. Try non-caffeinated tea as an energizing morning drink. Black tea or gray contains essence of bergamot which is an anti depressant. Don’t eat high fat food such as bacon, or sausages or half hash brown. Eat fruit for lunch snack for morning snack. Lunch concentrate on high protein lunch with tuna, turkey chicken greenly leafy vegetables and legumes with foliage, beans, drink lots of water. The most practical high performance work diet is pretty close to a caveman’s diet, high in proteins, fruits and vegetables with few grains for the working day.
Play should rejuvenate the brain allowing us to reach for fresh new ideas. Life should deliver some form of relation, take up new challenges, play Walter Mitty, learn things you have never done before, things you only dreamed of. Find someone who makes you feel good about yourself. I find talented thought for individualized instructions do wonderful psychotherapy.
I resolve to have self-discipline to be the very best I could be. The harder the better. Exercise is the magic bullet for creating mental energy. I find vigorous exercise far more effective than current exercise for lowering my tension level for the rest of the day. The best stress busting routines in one set make you feel hard in terms are with moderate resistance with 12 to 18 repetitions. Be sure sweep the last two reps that you get a real burn. Only 12% of us are exercising at levels suggested by experts.
Appearance creates self-esteem which breeds success. In life there are very few things that we have real control over; one of them is our appearance. Set a ritual, if you create too much chaos in your life you can concentrate on being really creative in your work. To be truly successful you must follow a ritual. Rituals are the foundations of success. Be doing your everyday routine so you can be wildly created in your work. Routine simplify, clarify and create orders symmetry and familiarity in chaos and high stress.
I tried to be extraordinarily organized and tried to compartmentalize my time into dictation, meetings, phone calls, naps, relaxation and meals. Don’t waste your most precious mental energy on routine phone calls. The aim of strategically placing your stats is to give yourself stunning mental energy. I use a single computer for everything. It’s a Mac laptop and I carry it nearly everywhere. I rely on a nationwide one-rate phone. I can get text or voicemail messengers sent to it, receive paging and route all my calls.
World-class ritual produces world-class performance. Routing, anchoring and securing time. Start by establishing great sleep rituals and then add exercise and eating. You will notice that even a small change will dramatically improve your prime time creative activity. For most people it’s a utmost importance to create the best possible routines for the morning and the early parts of the day. Launching the day is like a launching a missile. If you launch the day badly then the entire day goes badly. By fixing notes and planning in advance with ease your will become vastly more efficient. Michael Crichton would pick one kind of lunch to eat everyday during the month he is writing a novel.
Set aside prime time as a ritual time to do your best work in a space specifically set aside for prime time. If you are frequent traveler take your time to ritualize your departure. Don’t make it a fresh adventure each time out the door. Leave the much bigger buffer then you needs make a plain car or bus. Preserve mental capital. Pathologically high-tension levels kill mental energy. People are robbed of many creative moments because they can’t concentrate long enough.
Calm energy is the ideal need for superior mental performance. There are four categories of mood, calm energy, calm tiredness, tense energy, and tense tiredness. Worry increases the risk of heart attack, avoids sleep, alcohol, caffeine, anger. Aspartame is linked to afternoon depression anxiety and truly foul mood. Craving for caffeine is usually a symptom of too little sleep or poor quality sleep, big meals really do kill good mood. Plan logically a successful day. Make it a great day. Match activities to fit your biological rhythm. Synchronize your most creative time with a creative activity. Design your day by building a fortress around the time when you know you are most productive and leading out all peripheral activity. Drink up your protein beverage just after rising. Exercise, play motivational music, eat uncooked oatmeal, socialize in the morning.
8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. is prime time activity thus promoting your life career goal. Take caffeine without sugar in the morning. Play energetic and firing music. Extend your morning peak as long as possible or eating lunch that’s why big breakfast is so important for making it all last.
2:00 to 3:30 p.m. follow through on morning initiatives.
3:30 to 5:00 take 15-minute nap, take a 10 minute walk to revive yourself. Stack positive activity. Early evening eat a very small dinner for peak performance. Most of us pour ourselves with waging the actual number of productive hours we have a day.
Better to have three very strong creative hours then spend 12 hours going to work. Rise at the exact same time every morning. Sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays is completely out of whack until mid-week. Associate your room with rest rather than work or quarrel. Create and maintain a bedtime ritual, for example spend a few minute reading for pleasure every night. Schedule less taxing activities for the post lunch dip; take a power nap. Create positive thought, be an optimist every movement, nature strength, learn emotional broadcasting, optimist are the most skillful manipulators of reality.
Jonas Salk said “if I were a young scientist today, I would still do immunization. But instead of immunizing kids physically, I would do it psychologically. I see these psychologically immunized kids could then fight off mental and physical illness better. Fights to stay in the present don’t let the future ruin the present. Don’t get dragged into the past. Broadcast winning emotions to build a winning a team around you. The heart of emotional broadcasting is best are not what you say but the emotional changes you affect on those around you that count. The next time you write down a list of priorities associate strong positive emotions with them.
When you make others feel better they will make you feel better, you are mobilizing energy. Joe Gerard who is the best card salesmen ever simply sent cards on people’s birthdays and said the same thing “I like you”. What is the dominant emotion I broadcast, emotional support is extremely important for everyone who makes a difference and how will people can deal with traumatic situation. Life’s big winners see the situation as they envision it and they live it. Visualize in the early evening and after work and play some great music. Good food to eat: soy beans, lentils, green beans, skimmed milk, chic peas, apple, pear, all brands, non–fat vanilla yogurt, egg white, non fat cottage cheese, tuna, chicken breast, turkey breast, reduced fat cheese, Mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese, ground beef with more calories.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0316051616
Lucky Every Day
Lucky Every Day
© 2004 by Chip Silverman
You must feel passionate for what you do everyday in order to feel successful in your accomplishments and happy in life. What I learned from Diane is that taking the time to make others feel good about themselves and enjoy themselves soak their life in your own. Taking time with Diane’s greatest gift I hope to carry on this tradition my whole life too.
Life is full of unpleasant tasks, but put some fun into the drudgery make everything you do a challenge or a game and always try to win. Never ever give up. Her house was filled with happy playing children. It didn’t matter if Diane knew the kids or not they were all welcome to participate. Through Diane I have learned that adversity is only as big as I choose to let it be. If I view it as an uphill battle, like a mammoth mountain, I’m never going to reach the top. But if I take adversity in stride, one day at a time and maintain the constant belief that I will overcome it, and then I will reach the top in the end.
At the beginning of each season Diane shows the theme for our team. Our themes were designed to jump-start and motivate the players. She always puts down the theme in a most dramatic and interesting way. You control your own destiny was also a popular theme. Just forget about all that. Too many excuses seem to take personal responsibility and control your destiny. And my favorite theme was no stone unturned. One particular time she gave us lists of questions and answers that’s describing our greatest fear, our greatest achievement, our greatest strength. One by one we discussed the answers. We just need to take the time to stop and pointing out to each other and for ourselves. Thanks to Diane I have learned to pay full respect in every aspect of my life. Not just to win the game but to establish myself as a person.
Looking back I realize that when Diane taught us do preparation and visualization was about being a responsible adult. We picture all of them in fact could go wrong. We can take it and strike harmony and cool it. My loving family and friends note that you will always have an angel by your side watching out for you and all that you do, reminding you to believe in brighter days. This angel will give you strength, love, comfort and courage. You will always have an angel by your side to give you rainbows after every storm, to give you smile through the tears. Know that every ray of sunshine that hits your face is a hug from me to you.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0446500135
© 2004 by Chip Silverman
You must feel passionate for what you do everyday in order to feel successful in your accomplishments and happy in life. What I learned from Diane is that taking the time to make others feel good about themselves and enjoy themselves soak their life in your own. Taking time with Diane’s greatest gift I hope to carry on this tradition my whole life too.
Life is full of unpleasant tasks, but put some fun into the drudgery make everything you do a challenge or a game and always try to win. Never ever give up. Her house was filled with happy playing children. It didn’t matter if Diane knew the kids or not they were all welcome to participate. Through Diane I have learned that adversity is only as big as I choose to let it be. If I view it as an uphill battle, like a mammoth mountain, I’m never going to reach the top. But if I take adversity in stride, one day at a time and maintain the constant belief that I will overcome it, and then I will reach the top in the end.
At the beginning of each season Diane shows the theme for our team. Our themes were designed to jump-start and motivate the players. She always puts down the theme in a most dramatic and interesting way. You control your own destiny was also a popular theme. Just forget about all that. Too many excuses seem to take personal responsibility and control your destiny. And my favorite theme was no stone unturned. One particular time she gave us lists of questions and answers that’s describing our greatest fear, our greatest achievement, our greatest strength. One by one we discussed the answers. We just need to take the time to stop and pointing out to each other and for ourselves. Thanks to Diane I have learned to pay full respect in every aspect of my life. Not just to win the game but to establish myself as a person.
Looking back I realize that when Diane taught us do preparation and visualization was about being a responsible adult. We picture all of them in fact could go wrong. We can take it and strike harmony and cool it. My loving family and friends note that you will always have an angel by your side watching out for you and all that you do, reminding you to believe in brighter days. This angel will give you strength, love, comfort and courage. You will always have an angel by your side to give you rainbows after every storm, to give you smile through the tears. Know that every ray of sunshine that hits your face is a hug from me to you.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0446500135
Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees
Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees
© 1994 by Neale Godfrey
The overwhelming majority of Americans don’t understand finance themselves. The result is rising personal bankruptcy and nearly incomprehensible national debt; money is an emotionally charged subject. It is due to have greater valuable as a tool for power or as a weapon to control others.
The average American saves between 4 and 6 percent of his annual salary. That leaves even after taxes better than 65 percent or more the salary that must be carefully managed so that all costs of living are covered. Saving money is essentially a discipline that youngsters must be taught just like brushing their teeth. You provide child with the tools needed a toothbrush and toothpaste. Then you provide the proper environment a bathroom with a sink and finally you monitor the activity and offer encouragement and praise. Money is anything a group of people accept in exchange for goods or services.
We save money for three reasons: protection in case of emergency, for retirement, and to buy something we really want. First consider emphasizing the sheer fun of saving money to your child. This might get some of her hopes of life. The general approach to teaching the discipline of saving money is to set a financial goal with your youngster, help him earn the money necessary over a period of time to attain the goal and enjoy the reward of obtaining the goal together. They must have a source of money preferably earned and they must have a piggy bank or toy space.
Provide a simple easy to use system to save money so that it becomes a weekly habit. Pay the allowance in exact change at the same time each week. Make sure the youngster has a special safe place to keep the money. Conduct a treasure hunt with your child together of all the loose change in the house. Don’t forget the pockets of coats and jackets, drawers, old purses and under shelf of kitchen. After you finish the game show your child have to roll the coin into the paper cubes. Get a piggy bank that’s just for saving. Spending money to go somewhere else like a coin purse or a wallet. Each week when you pay up the allowance go with your child and together deposit money into the piggy bank. Make sure the piggy bank is clear so the child can see how the money accumulates each week. See who can pickup the most groceries without going over $5.00. A passbook account is more fun for your child because the passbook is stamped every time there is a deposit.
Together with your child select a toy game or book that costs no more then 2 weeks of allowance then at the end of the two-week make a special trip to purchase the item. Consider telling over to teenager a complete management of the clothing allowance for the total amount of money you spend on him annually. For third degree spenders the parent may think for same as the payroll deduction plan. The 401K plan explains your child that for every dollar he saves you will match it with a dollar for whatever period of time you decide. Money should be fun. The sum needs to be large enough so that the kid can do all the do money management exercises that will prepare her for the future for the size of allowance. Between the age of 3 and 6 allowance should be the same number of dollar as their age.
There are three areas of money management SOS; “S” for saving, Offering for charity and spending. It is a good dinner table discussion to help up your children about charity. What job or jobs must the youngster perform in order to earn allowance and separately what duties are part of the job while as the member of the family. I believe in assigning specific chores that child does weekly to earn the allowance. I would like to differentiate additional responsibilities from routine courtesy. In my household we have two kinds of chores personal maintenance and general household chores. An allowance is the money given to the child as a payment for being a working contributing member of the family. The weekly net allowance started adjusting downward as your youngster heads into his teens and begins to earn his own money. The parent should not be flexible in the payment of allowance the chores must be completed before any money is paid. Money the parent gives the child each week as a payment for being a working member of the family is allowance. Weekly expenses that a child could absorb lunch money, Sunday school donation, school supplies, school field trips, a budget is a plan that lays out what you will do with your money.
Breakdown of a child’s budget: That is roughly 20% long‑term saving, 10-15% short-term, 10-15% offering, 40% living and 20% free money. Give that money under $20.00 billing for their free money budget. Between 21 and 50 half goes into saving and the other half into spending. Anything over 50 we workout a percentage, for the bulk goes into savings and some is available for the child. The goal is to pay all necessary bills with the allotted money.
The MESS system: “M” make a list. Making a shopping list is vital. “E” evaluate what are your truly basic necessities and what are not in your household, make three separate lists for toiletries, pantry, and health. When I got I ask myself can I live without this. The basic necessities list shampoo, deodorant, bar soap, sugar, coffee, dishwashing soap, garbage bags, etc. “S” shop, “S” stick to the agenda.
Relative value: The real price of something in terms of what it will cost you in work and time. Imperative shopping denotes the lightness and differences between two or more things that you are considering buying.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671798057
© 1994 by Neale Godfrey
The overwhelming majority of Americans don’t understand finance themselves. The result is rising personal bankruptcy and nearly incomprehensible national debt; money is an emotionally charged subject. It is due to have greater valuable as a tool for power or as a weapon to control others.
The average American saves between 4 and 6 percent of his annual salary. That leaves even after taxes better than 65 percent or more the salary that must be carefully managed so that all costs of living are covered. Saving money is essentially a discipline that youngsters must be taught just like brushing their teeth. You provide child with the tools needed a toothbrush and toothpaste. Then you provide the proper environment a bathroom with a sink and finally you monitor the activity and offer encouragement and praise. Money is anything a group of people accept in exchange for goods or services.
We save money for three reasons: protection in case of emergency, for retirement, and to buy something we really want. First consider emphasizing the sheer fun of saving money to your child. This might get some of her hopes of life. The general approach to teaching the discipline of saving money is to set a financial goal with your youngster, help him earn the money necessary over a period of time to attain the goal and enjoy the reward of obtaining the goal together. They must have a source of money preferably earned and they must have a piggy bank or toy space.
Provide a simple easy to use system to save money so that it becomes a weekly habit. Pay the allowance in exact change at the same time each week. Make sure the youngster has a special safe place to keep the money. Conduct a treasure hunt with your child together of all the loose change in the house. Don’t forget the pockets of coats and jackets, drawers, old purses and under shelf of kitchen. After you finish the game show your child have to roll the coin into the paper cubes. Get a piggy bank that’s just for saving. Spending money to go somewhere else like a coin purse or a wallet. Each week when you pay up the allowance go with your child and together deposit money into the piggy bank. Make sure the piggy bank is clear so the child can see how the money accumulates each week. See who can pickup the most groceries without going over $5.00. A passbook account is more fun for your child because the passbook is stamped every time there is a deposit.
Together with your child select a toy game or book that costs no more then 2 weeks of allowance then at the end of the two-week make a special trip to purchase the item. Consider telling over to teenager a complete management of the clothing allowance for the total amount of money you spend on him annually. For third degree spenders the parent may think for same as the payroll deduction plan. The 401K plan explains your child that for every dollar he saves you will match it with a dollar for whatever period of time you decide. Money should be fun. The sum needs to be large enough so that the kid can do all the do money management exercises that will prepare her for the future for the size of allowance. Between the age of 3 and 6 allowance should be the same number of dollar as their age.
There are three areas of money management SOS; “S” for saving, Offering for charity and spending. It is a good dinner table discussion to help up your children about charity. What job or jobs must the youngster perform in order to earn allowance and separately what duties are part of the job while as the member of the family. I believe in assigning specific chores that child does weekly to earn the allowance. I would like to differentiate additional responsibilities from routine courtesy. In my household we have two kinds of chores personal maintenance and general household chores. An allowance is the money given to the child as a payment for being a working contributing member of the family. The weekly net allowance started adjusting downward as your youngster heads into his teens and begins to earn his own money. The parent should not be flexible in the payment of allowance the chores must be completed before any money is paid. Money the parent gives the child each week as a payment for being a working member of the family is allowance. Weekly expenses that a child could absorb lunch money, Sunday school donation, school supplies, school field trips, a budget is a plan that lays out what you will do with your money.
Breakdown of a child’s budget: That is roughly 20% long‑term saving, 10-15% short-term, 10-15% offering, 40% living and 20% free money. Give that money under $20.00 billing for their free money budget. Between 21 and 50 half goes into saving and the other half into spending. Anything over 50 we workout a percentage, for the bulk goes into savings and some is available for the child. The goal is to pay all necessary bills with the allotted money.
The MESS system: “M” make a list. Making a shopping list is vital. “E” evaluate what are your truly basic necessities and what are not in your household, make three separate lists for toiletries, pantry, and health. When I got I ask myself can I live without this. The basic necessities list shampoo, deodorant, bar soap, sugar, coffee, dishwashing soap, garbage bags, etc. “S” shop, “S” stick to the agenda.
Relative value: The real price of something in terms of what it will cost you in work and time. Imperative shopping denotes the lightness and differences between two or more things that you are considering buying.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671798057
Meaningful Marketing
Meaningful Marketing
© 2004 by Doug Hall and Jeffrey Stamp
Meaningful marketing focuses on the acquisition of new customers. Someone studied the careers of 1,500 business school graduates from 1960 to 1980. At graduation 1,245 will categorize as being focused on making money while 255 of the graduates were focused on pursuing something that was personally meaningful to them. 20 years later 100 out of 101 meaningful millionaires were from the latter group.
Most new products fail because they are not new enough. They do not offer any perceptible point of difference. Define first. First is a limited category. Define what you are at the first step based on a limited subset. Define first as a combination. Define what you are the first step based on a unique combination. Being first to market nearly doubles your sales versus being fourth to market.
Use your voicemail messages as the test market. Script the voicemail messages you leave for customers. I am calling about a new act we have that can help you XYZ. Make 25 calls and measure the number of callbacks. Then script another message and try again. When you get the right benefit and stated in an obvious fashion you will know it because response rates will increase by 50-100%. Be specific about your meaningful uniqueness. Sales messages that are specific about this have a 52% greater success rate. Describe your offering with a mind-opening and articulate it with clarity.
Open your customers’ minds by blatantly and boldly articulating how your product will transform their lives. Speak up your uniqueness from the viewpoint of new and existing customers. Perpetually focus on finding new customers. Remember the goal is total customer growth. Do one thing great. When your message is highly focused you have a 60% greater chance of long-term success. A customer’s trust in your expertise is dramatically enhanced when you focus on doing one thing better than anyone else. Make defining your brand an urgent priority. If you do not know what your brand stands for there is little chance that your customers do.
Publish your focused brand vision on everything. Publish it everywhere. Target customers who seek meaningful innovation. Focus your initial resources on customers most open to trying new things. Feel influential passion for being smarter. 44% of adults have a logical rational orientation. Left brained people respond best when the sales person is serious, knowledge and highly organized. Once you think about product compare to what you are using now.
Right brainers are 28% or emotional people oriented. They respond best when the sales person is humorous, animated, relationship oriented and focused on their personal need. How do you feel about what I am offering? Make frequent personal contacts. The last group of thinking styles is known as whole brain. The importance of non-loyal customers, first time and onetime customers represent over one-third of sales and profit. Celebrate the arrival of new customers. Define special methods handling new customer needs. Warmly welcome them to your brand and your people. Incentives motivate the customer’s can’t be bought. A financial incentive construe customer to action.
A one dollar incentive raises the survey response from 20-40%. A five dollar incentive raises the best at 51%. Above that did not go too much. When possible give the small sample size of your offering. In person requests for 82% of the time are successful versus 47% for survey sent by mail. We feel that sales marketing executive should spend 25-50% of their time connecting with current or prospective customers.
Avoiding the loss can be more motivating to customers than realizing a gain.
Define your benefit as preventing a loss. Quantify the long-term cause of non-action. Articulate fears and doubts could have faced on the loss. Context has a major impact on purchasing. When you offer customers the opportunity to choose between three options they are significantly less likely to select the cheapest one. It is smarter for company to offer three different options. The optimum number of marketing pitches to a new customer is three. Don’t rest. Remember when a customer gives you an absolute yes there is still a 50% probability he will change his mind. When you get a yes move rapidly to close the sale. The four most important measures for predicting success for important customer benefit, a unique performance, benefit easy to communicate, good value for the money. Leverage special knowledge loyalty program.
Open a system of dialogue with loyal customers. Give them access to believing as of your company’s thinking. You sell more when you compete more. Competition by internal-external forces yields the passion for winning more. Leverage the rhythms of sports team.
Five decision making styles of buyers: Charismatic 25%, thinkers 11%, skeptic 19%, followers 36%, controllers 9%. Selling charismatic by a focus on the most important, most dramatic big picture, bottom line benefits first. Sell thinkers by providing the frame of reference so provide constant side-by-side comparison. Sell followers by references. Research indicates there are three distinct sources of customer trust; company, sales person, and products. Relative importance of company is 1.9, sales person 1.7, product 1.0. Build the corporate brands. Literally wear your brands on your sleeve. Embroider and imprint your corporate logo everywhere. Provide leadership to your industry. Customer trust of the sales person is based on dependability, honesty, customer-first confidence, and likeability.
Create a pattern of dependability by making small promises and over delivering on results. Learn and talk more about your competition. Keep asking what’s new. Make it a habit to ask your customers and your own company staff what’s new. When you can actually achieve a pricing premium compared to the competition it becomes one of the best measures of your brand because it is free market testimony for your customer’s commitment. Sharpen your brand’s thirty-second message. By keeping it simple and clear your brand strategy will stay in the minds of all involved. Talk to customers in real words. For the masses of customers it is over twice as effective to tell them the storage or data that it is to provide a chart of numbers.
Storytelling is twice as effective. Be a storyteller. Turn you marketing message into storytelling. Think offense not defense with marketing cost, as you think to improve your sales and marketing cost effectiveness. Focus energy first on how you can more meaningfully connect with customer needs. Instead of saying what you can eliminate focus first on what else you can do to make a more meaningful articulation of the virtues of your offering. Instead of mindlessly advertising the millions send the product sample to a subset of higher probability customers. Instead of making millions of prospecting calls create a lecture book that can provide an in-depth display of your wisdom. Define what you would spend money on. Break the commodity cycle. Bigger brands are perceived to offer poor quality.
When your small leveraged as an asset do not apologize for your small size, rather use that an as asset, articulate and deliver customer service that exceeds expectations. Use of nimbleness and responsiveness are the major advantage versus the market leader. Eliminate the irrelevant. The presence of irrelevant information lowers customer’s perception of performance excellence. Follow the advice of Steven King that the second draft should be the first draft less 10% of the words. Use testimonials that speak directly to your meaningful benefit. Tell your story without words. Digital cameras, not photo, use analogy, depict the magic moment that defines your benefit.
Get a customer and say yes to a small harmless request and he is much more likely to say yes to additional larger request. When participant draft to answer five research questions small request they were 28% more likely to answer a second 20 question survey. 34% made the donation pursue, 90% by making a small commitment to you, they subconsciously become more favorable towards you. When they gain any commitment from the customer you dramatically increase your chances of gaining further commitment.
Use the Franklin and France’s wisdom selling system. When Frenchman Franklin was ambassador of France he gained influence with a key sales leader by first asking a borrowed book from his library. The greater the initiation entered the greater the commitment further action. Leverage longtime members. Tour and educate. Get your customers involved in learning and studying about your products. Getting customers to verbalize positive feeling significantly improves sales result. Positive momentum creates positive momentum. When customers state they are feeling good they are more inclined to give you a positive response to your request, so keep the positive feelings flowing. Build momentum. When your customers perceive you as an expert or authority they are more likely to purchase. Authority can come from a perceptional power or protégé. Publish. The popular power of the written word of the source of the authority is immense.
The power of food. Eating of food and drink has a positive impact on customer’s reactions to your presentation. When we are given food or drinks we feel thankful and develop a feeling of owing the giver. Make dining unexpectedly wonderful. Dine at a restaurant where you are well known by the chef and waiter staff can make a positive impression.
The power of deadline. By sending the specific deadline you can dramatically speed customer decision-making.
The halo of attention of personal details. When you look successful customers perceive you as successful. Basking in reflective glory. Customers like to be perceived as being on winning team. Build a sense of belonging. Creative sense of belonging among your customers by enrolling them as members of the club. Celebrate wins. Invite customers to celebrate your milestones of victory that they made possible. Build winner momentum. Celebrate the extremes.
Be bold. Be brave. Whenever you can give a dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it by goodwill. Benjamin Franklin said “Up sluggard and waste not life in the grave we will be sleeping enough”.
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1578601789
© 2004 by Doug Hall and Jeffrey Stamp
Meaningful marketing focuses on the acquisition of new customers. Someone studied the careers of 1,500 business school graduates from 1960 to 1980. At graduation 1,245 will categorize as being focused on making money while 255 of the graduates were focused on pursuing something that was personally meaningful to them. 20 years later 100 out of 101 meaningful millionaires were from the latter group.
Most new products fail because they are not new enough. They do not offer any perceptible point of difference. Define first. First is a limited category. Define what you are at the first step based on a limited subset. Define first as a combination. Define what you are the first step based on a unique combination. Being first to market nearly doubles your sales versus being fourth to market.
Use your voicemail messages as the test market. Script the voicemail messages you leave for customers. I am calling about a new act we have that can help you XYZ. Make 25 calls and measure the number of callbacks. Then script another message and try again. When you get the right benefit and stated in an obvious fashion you will know it because response rates will increase by 50-100%. Be specific about your meaningful uniqueness. Sales messages that are specific about this have a 52% greater success rate. Describe your offering with a mind-opening and articulate it with clarity.
Open your customers’ minds by blatantly and boldly articulating how your product will transform their lives. Speak up your uniqueness from the viewpoint of new and existing customers. Perpetually focus on finding new customers. Remember the goal is total customer growth. Do one thing great. When your message is highly focused you have a 60% greater chance of long-term success. A customer’s trust in your expertise is dramatically enhanced when you focus on doing one thing better than anyone else. Make defining your brand an urgent priority. If you do not know what your brand stands for there is little chance that your customers do.
Publish your focused brand vision on everything. Publish it everywhere. Target customers who seek meaningful innovation. Focus your initial resources on customers most open to trying new things. Feel influential passion for being smarter. 44% of adults have a logical rational orientation. Left brained people respond best when the sales person is serious, knowledge and highly organized. Once you think about product compare to what you are using now.
Right brainers are 28% or emotional people oriented. They respond best when the sales person is humorous, animated, relationship oriented and focused on their personal need. How do you feel about what I am offering? Make frequent personal contacts. The last group of thinking styles is known as whole brain. The importance of non-loyal customers, first time and onetime customers represent over one-third of sales and profit. Celebrate the arrival of new customers. Define special methods handling new customer needs. Warmly welcome them to your brand and your people. Incentives motivate the customer’s can’t be bought. A financial incentive construe customer to action.
A one dollar incentive raises the survey response from 20-40%. A five dollar incentive raises the best at 51%. Above that did not go too much. When possible give the small sample size of your offering. In person requests for 82% of the time are successful versus 47% for survey sent by mail. We feel that sales marketing executive should spend 25-50% of their time connecting with current or prospective customers.
Avoiding the loss can be more motivating to customers than realizing a gain.
Define your benefit as preventing a loss. Quantify the long-term cause of non-action. Articulate fears and doubts could have faced on the loss. Context has a major impact on purchasing. When you offer customers the opportunity to choose between three options they are significantly less likely to select the cheapest one. It is smarter for company to offer three different options. The optimum number of marketing pitches to a new customer is three. Don’t rest. Remember when a customer gives you an absolute yes there is still a 50% probability he will change his mind. When you get a yes move rapidly to close the sale. The four most important measures for predicting success for important customer benefit, a unique performance, benefit easy to communicate, good value for the money. Leverage special knowledge loyalty program.
Open a system of dialogue with loyal customers. Give them access to believing as of your company’s thinking. You sell more when you compete more. Competition by internal-external forces yields the passion for winning more. Leverage the rhythms of sports team.
Five decision making styles of buyers: Charismatic 25%, thinkers 11%, skeptic 19%, followers 36%, controllers 9%. Selling charismatic by a focus on the most important, most dramatic big picture, bottom line benefits first. Sell thinkers by providing the frame of reference so provide constant side-by-side comparison. Sell followers by references. Research indicates there are three distinct sources of customer trust; company, sales person, and products. Relative importance of company is 1.9, sales person 1.7, product 1.0. Build the corporate brands. Literally wear your brands on your sleeve. Embroider and imprint your corporate logo everywhere. Provide leadership to your industry. Customer trust of the sales person is based on dependability, honesty, customer-first confidence, and likeability.
Create a pattern of dependability by making small promises and over delivering on results. Learn and talk more about your competition. Keep asking what’s new. Make it a habit to ask your customers and your own company staff what’s new. When you can actually achieve a pricing premium compared to the competition it becomes one of the best measures of your brand because it is free market testimony for your customer’s commitment. Sharpen your brand’s thirty-second message. By keeping it simple and clear your brand strategy will stay in the minds of all involved. Talk to customers in real words. For the masses of customers it is over twice as effective to tell them the storage or data that it is to provide a chart of numbers.
Storytelling is twice as effective. Be a storyteller. Turn you marketing message into storytelling. Think offense not defense with marketing cost, as you think to improve your sales and marketing cost effectiveness. Focus energy first on how you can more meaningfully connect with customer needs. Instead of saying what you can eliminate focus first on what else you can do to make a more meaningful articulation of the virtues of your offering. Instead of mindlessly advertising the millions send the product sample to a subset of higher probability customers. Instead of making millions of prospecting calls create a lecture book that can provide an in-depth display of your wisdom. Define what you would spend money on. Break the commodity cycle. Bigger brands are perceived to offer poor quality.
When your small leveraged as an asset do not apologize for your small size, rather use that an as asset, articulate and deliver customer service that exceeds expectations. Use of nimbleness and responsiveness are the major advantage versus the market leader. Eliminate the irrelevant. The presence of irrelevant information lowers customer’s perception of performance excellence. Follow the advice of Steven King that the second draft should be the first draft less 10% of the words. Use testimonials that speak directly to your meaningful benefit. Tell your story without words. Digital cameras, not photo, use analogy, depict the magic moment that defines your benefit.
Get a customer and say yes to a small harmless request and he is much more likely to say yes to additional larger request. When participant draft to answer five research questions small request they were 28% more likely to answer a second 20 question survey. 34% made the donation pursue, 90% by making a small commitment to you, they subconsciously become more favorable towards you. When they gain any commitment from the customer you dramatically increase your chances of gaining further commitment.
Use the Franklin and France’s wisdom selling system. When Frenchman Franklin was ambassador of France he gained influence with a key sales leader by first asking a borrowed book from his library. The greater the initiation entered the greater the commitment further action. Leverage longtime members. Tour and educate. Get your customers involved in learning and studying about your products. Getting customers to verbalize positive feeling significantly improves sales result. Positive momentum creates positive momentum. When customers state they are feeling good they are more inclined to give you a positive response to your request, so keep the positive feelings flowing. Build momentum. When your customers perceive you as an expert or authority they are more likely to purchase. Authority can come from a perceptional power or protégé. Publish. The popular power of the written word of the source of the authority is immense.
The power of food. Eating of food and drink has a positive impact on customer’s reactions to your presentation. When we are given food or drinks we feel thankful and develop a feeling of owing the giver. Make dining unexpectedly wonderful. Dine at a restaurant where you are well known by the chef and waiter staff can make a positive impression.
The power of deadline. By sending the specific deadline you can dramatically speed customer decision-making.
The halo of attention of personal details. When you look successful customers perceive you as successful. Basking in reflective glory. Customers like to be perceived as being on winning team. Build a sense of belonging. Creative sense of belonging among your customers by enrolling them as members of the club. Celebrate wins. Invite customers to celebrate your milestones of victory that they made possible. Build winner momentum. Celebrate the extremes.
Be bold. Be brave. Whenever you can give a dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it by goodwill. Benjamin Franklin said “Up sluggard and waste not life in the grave we will be sleeping enough”.
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